Who had I become?<\/h6>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t even recognize myself anymore. Who was this frustrated, depressed, sleep-deprived monster? Who couldn\u2019t hold it together for even an hour most days. Who yearned for sleep and separation from her children who she really did love. I didn\u2019t like this version of myself. I needed help, but I was afraid of the shame and guilt that came with it. Thank God for blessing me with a loving, patient, and determined husband who pushed until I gave in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, in both the Christian and mom circles, seeking help is shown as a sign of weakness and failure. I should be a better Christian and mother. I should be able to hold it together and live a peaceful and perfect existence with perfect and peaceful kids. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is NOT reality! But too many moms and Christians believe the lies that this should be our reality. Then we fall deeper into the darkness of the tunnel and get completely lost with no signs of light anymore. This is a dark and scary place to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finding Healing<\/h6>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve dealt with some depression my whole life, but postpartum depression hit me hard after the birth of my second son. He had colic so sleep was hard to come by. I had a toddler that didn\u2019t understand why suddenly he wasn\u2019t get all of the attention. My husband was working at a difficult job that was giving him anxiety and other health issues. I was trying to take care of everyone plus work part time from home. PLUS the fun hormone roller coaster my body was on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n