The feeling that you are not enough or doing enough for your children (or husband). That if only you could “get it together”, life would be easier and more pleasant.

This often comes from comparing yourself to other moms based on outward appearance, their well behaved children, or from not living up to your own expectations of what a mother should be. It can be a dangerous place to let your mind wander or stay and can lead to depression, anxiety, fear, and not parenting fully from the truth of the Word and the Holy Spirit that God has gifted you as your guide and counselor. It is a sneaky tactic of the enemy to keep us from relying on God, beating ourselves up as never being enough, and not getting to experience the joy of our families.

How can the lies of mom guilt be stopped before they go too far?

3 Necessary Steps to Identifying and Combating Mom Guilt

1 – Realize You are Not Enough

You, in your own strength and flesh, are not enough. You and your spouse together are not enough. You will never know all of the answers or how to parent perfectly. But this does not mean you are without hope or should just give up.

Instead of figuring it out on your own or with Google or Instagram, turn to the One who DOES know it all and DOES have all the answers.

When we can get to a place of recognizing our need for a Savior in ALL aspects of life,

we will find freedom of the burden of mom guilt.

Guilt is not something we are meant to carry when we are in Christ. If your burdens feel heavy, then you are likely carrying something you should not be carrying. Jesus said when we turn to Him and rely on Him, our burdens will be easy and our yokes light (Matthew 11:29-30).

So how does that actually happen? Can we really live a life with easy burdens and light yokes? Does this mean everything will work out perfectly?

2 – Live out of Your Identity in Christ

Absolutely not! And absolutely at the same time!! It all comes down to perspective. Maybe in your perspective nothing is perfect and the heavy burdens will never stop. But when we rely on the Lord and ask Him to help us, He can help change our perspective not only on our circumstances around us but who we are and how we approach issues as they come up.

The most freeing part of the Gospel that I think gets overlooked too often is who we now are in Christ. It is easy as a believer to spend an abundance of time focusing on your sin, especially as a mom!

But God didn’t redeem us to spend the entirety of our lives sulking in our sin and worrying we’re always screwing up.

God gave us new life in Him to have NEW LIFE – free of condemnation, guilt, and shame (Romans 8:1-2). He wants us to live freely from our identity in what Christ accomplished and wants us to show our number one opportunities to share the Gospel with – our children – what a life looks like when they believe.

I want to clarify that when we screw up, it is still important to confess your sin and repent before the Lord. This not only restores any distance you have placed between you and Him but also keeps us humble of who He is – a righteous, sovereign God – and who we are – saints ONLY through the sacrifice of Jesus. It keeps us in a place of praise and worship before the most worthy King.

It’s important to note that the point of God giving us new life and identity in Christ is for HIS glory not for us to look or feel good.

If you truly start to understand all that was accomplished through Christ’s sacrifice, it will bring you to your knees in worship, give you a desire to seek to live a holy life, and will convict you of your sins and lead you to repentance. You will realize how unworthy you are and how worthy God is. You will clearly see how undeserving you are of this precious gift and gratitude will flow from your life. Through all of this, your perspective will begin to change. It will stop being just about you and your comfortable life and more about God’s glory being shown and His will being accomplished. You will start to see things from the broader perspective of eternity instead which will change everything. You can find additional resources and more information on identity in Christ in these books.

3 – Trust God’s Grace is Enough

As we continue to walk in the flesh on this side of heaven, we will never do it all perfectly. That’s where God’s perfect grace continues to shine through every single day. In our weakness He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). In our failures He is sovereign, gracious, and good (Colossians 1:16-17, Romans 8:28).

Realizing that God loves your children more than you do, has good plans for them, and never gives up pursuing them can be a very freeing experience.

Of course, we should strive to parent well out of the Spirit’s leading and the truth of the Bible. But we will mess up. Maybe every now and then or maybe every day (that’s me).

But when you do mess up it does NOT mean you are ruining your kids’ lives or their chances for becoming believers. God’s bigger than our mistakes. He does not give up on you or your children. He will faithfully continue to pursue and love unconditionally because He cares more about you and your children’s hearts and souls than about temporary circumstances or you doing it all perfectly.

His will is not reliant on you and me. It is reliant on Him alone. While He allows us to be a part of His kingdom work, we also can’t screw it up. He will accomplish what He has set out to do one way or another. There is freedom coming to this place – accepting God’s unconditional love and grace and trusting that we can’t mess up His will.

As long as we’re seeking Him and spending time with Him, our desire will be to please Him, and He will start aligning our hearts with His.

Due to the battle that exists within our own flesh and the enemy that currently rules this earth, we will never do it perfectly. This is where we can lean into trusting His promises that what He begins He will bring to completion (Philippians 1:6). One way or another, His will will be accomplished.

We can trust Him. His love for us far exceeds what we could even imagine (Ephesians 3:19). So instead of sitting in guilt or shame for every screw up, come humbly before the Lord and receive the forgiveness He already laid out on the cross. You can trust from that place, He will meet you and surround you with His peace, love, grace, and reassurance that He is in control.

10 Bible Verses to Combat Mom Guilt

Meditate on these verses during your day to remind yourself of the redemption, grace, and sovereignty of the Lord.

“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,  may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”

Ephesians 3:14-21 NIV

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”

Galatians 5:1 ESV

“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him.”

2 Corinthians 5:17-18 NLT

“For we are the circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh—”

Philippians 3:3 ESV

“We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.”

Romans 6:4 NIV

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Romans 15:13 NLT

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.”

Psalm 139:14-16 ESV

Psalm 145:8-9 NIV

“for through him God created everything
    in the heavenly realms and on earth.
He made the things we can see
    and the things we can’t see—
such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world.
    Everything was created through him and for him.
 He existed before anything else,
    and he holds all creation together.”

Colossians 1:16-17 NLT

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Jesus, Matthew 11:28-30 ESV

Grab a free printable of the verses so you can always have them on hand!

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The post The Most Effective Way to Combat Mom Guilt first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

It wasn’t until I started to learn about who God was, and His incredible love for me that I started to understand that there was more to this Christian life than I thought possible. I wasn’t “serving” a harsh Father, but I was adopted into a new spiritual family that not only showered me with grace and love but allowed me to have my inheritance now! If identity in Christ is a new concept for you, I encourage you to read this post or look at these resources for more information.

What are declarations about identity in Christ?

A declaration is defined as a formal or explicit statement or announcement. A declaration about identity in Christ is a truth about who you are in Christ that you are declaring over yourself and other believers. It is something you can do alone or with a group. It is speaking a truth out loud whether you believe it in the moment or not.

The Bible is full of declarations of who you are as a believer. It is also full of declarations about who God is. Learning both of these truths will transform your Christian walk from shame to joy and guilt to freedom. You can’t fully believe who you are in Christ until you start believing God is who He says He is.

Why do we need to do declarations?

Declarations are an important exercise to do as believers, especially speaking them out loud. It releases light and truth into the atmosphere that we walk in. It reminds us who we are in Christ and the victory we have to live in. It helps retrain our thinking to stand on the truth and not believe the lies of the enemy.

It takes time to retrain our thoughts to believe some of these truths from the identity in Christ list. It goes against maybe what you were taught to believe growing up or what you’ve seen and experienced from other believers. It goes against what the enemy is trying to get you to believe about yourself. So it is important to regularly speak these truths over yourself over and over again until you believe they are true. And then some more to speak it out so the enemy knows you believe they are true. Once you start believing and living these truths, you will experience more freedom and joy than you ever thought possible!!

Your Identity in Christ List

The following identity in Christ list will help point you to who you are now that you are a believer. Each truth is back up by Scripture. You can print out the printable list or write out your own copy to have these truths handy every day. Keep them close and read them often and see how God begins transforming your mind and life!

1. I am a new creation. 2 Corinthians 5:17
2. I am a child of God. John 1:12
3. I am a co-heir in Christ’s inheritance. Romans 8:17, Galatians 4:6-7
4. I am a citizen of heaven and seated there right now. Philippians 3:20, Ephesians 2:6
5. I am dearly and unconditionally loved. Romans 8:38-39
6. I am the salt and light of the world. Matthew 5:13-14
7. God will provide for all of my needs. Matthew 6:25-33
8. I am forgiven and free from the guilt of sin. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19, Colossians 2:13-15, Hebrews 9:26
9. I am a saint. Hebrews 10:10, Ephesians 1:1
10. I am a temple of the Holy Spirit. 1 Corinthians 3:16, 6:19-20
11. I am a stranger in this world. 1 Peter 2:11
12. The enemy cannot hurt me. 1 John 5:18
13. I am righteous and holy. 2 Corinthians 5:21, Ephesians 4:24
14. I am hidden in God with Christ. Colossians 3:3
15. I am a member of Christ’s body with specific gifts and purposes. Ephesians 2:10, 1 Corinthians 12:4-11
16. I was knit together in my mother’s womb for specific Kingdom purposes. Psalm 139:13-16
17. I walk in victory. 1 John 5:4
18. I am chosen. John 15:16, Colossians 3:12, 1 Thessalonians 1:4, 1 Peter 2:9-10
19. I have everything I need for life and godliness. 2 Peter 1:3-4
20. I am part of God’s family. Ephesians 2:19
21. I am a daughter/son of light and darkness cannot overtake me. 1 Thessalonians 5:5
22. I am an enemy of the devil. 1 Peter 5:8
23. I have purpose while I am still on earth, and God does not waste a day of my life. Psalm 139:16, Psalm 138:8, Philippians 1:6
24. God is working all things for my good and His glory. Romans 8:28
25. I do not battle flesh and blood but evil forces of darkness and are equipped to fight and win the battle. Ephesians 6:10-18
26. I am Christ’s friend. John 15:15
27. I have a heavenly calling. Hebrews 3:1
28. I share Christ’s life. Hebrews 3:14
29. I am a living stone used to build a spiritual house. 1 Peter 2:4-5
30. I have the mind of Christ and reflect Him. 1 John 3:2, 1 Corinthians 2:16

How to use your Identity in Christ List

Take this copy of the list or make your own copy or notecards to keep around your house. Keep it in places that you will see it often. I recommend reading it out loud when you wake up every day as a way to set your mind right first thing. Also when you are struggling with believing something, maybe even a specific truth from this list, have it handy to read out loud the truths to fight the lie and struggle in the moment. It would also be good to read the Scriptures out loud when you are struggling in any specific area.

This may seem tedious and repetitive, but that is how retraining your brain works. It takes time and persistence. Lies that you have believed since childhood or that are deeply ingrained from a traumatic experience will take time to rewire to these truths. But the more you do it, the easier it becomes – not to just read them out loud but to actually start believing them. It may be good to tackle some of the ones that are hard for you to believe one at a time, conquering one truth before moving onto another.

God will use this practice to bring freedom, joy, and new life to you. He is faithful and good wanting you to not just live but thrive in your life in Him. He loves you more than you could ever understand and wants you to live in this free gift of grace and mercy He’s given you. Prayerfully seek Him on these things and cling to Him when you doubt or worry. He will bring healing and restoration to your life through His sacrifice.

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The post 30 Declarations of Your Identity in Christ (plus Free Identity in Christ List Printable) first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

Both of us began our journeys to finding who we truly were through different Christian discipleship counselors. Since then, we continue to learn and grow through various resources including the Bible, Christian teaching (podcasts/sermons/conferences), discipleship, the Holy Spirit, prayer, and books. All of these resources can be valuable, but we have to be careful and check everything we learn from outside sources against the Bible and in prayer listening to the Holy Spirit to verify it is good and true.

If you are interested in learning more about what I mean when I say identity in Christ, check out the blog post I wrote about it here. Also please don’t hesitate to reach out to me or to check out our top 5 resources we’ve found on the subject.

*This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase using this link. Please see my disclosure for more details.

1 – Neil Anderson – Victory Over the Darkness

Neil Anderson has a lot of really great resources pertaining to our identities in Christ. I found the first part of the book to be a little drier, but stick with it because it does get better! This is the best place to start if you are new to him or just learning about your identity in Christ. It is full of so many good things like the battle we’re in and how to overcome it, finding freedom from your past, discovering how God sees you, winning the battle of your mind, and more!

2 – Neil Anderson – The Bondage Breaker

After finishing Victory Over the Darkness, The Bondage Breaker is a great next read. It has a lot of really good information about breaking free from things that may be oppressing or entangling you. There is a section in the book called Steps to Freedom. I highly recommend going through these steps by yourself or with a friend or mentor. There is also a workbook that is specifically for the Steps to Freedom. It is a great resource to have to identify areas of bondage that you may not even realize are there and finding freedom from them.

3 – Paul Ellis – The Gospel in Ten Words

This book is packed with awesome truth! If I could have highlighted the whole book I would have. Expanding on 10 key words of the Gospel, this book explains it in simple terms while also exposing some truths you may have never thought of. I would highly recommend this for any believer – old or new. It will reignite your heart and love for the Gospel!

4 – Bill Gillham – Lifetime Guarantee

Bill Gillham is also another great resource for identity in Christ. Anything he has will be good, but this is a great one to start out with of his. He talks about his own struggle of trying to live for God out of the flesh and helps readers identify this struggle in their own lives. He of course doesn’t stop there though but talks about how victory comes from realizing and living from our true identities in Christ and what God wants out of life for us.

5 – Ruth Myers – 31 Days of Praise

There is nothing that can align you more with the Lord and His will and identity for you than praise. I have found that the most intimate times I have with the Lord are when I’m praising Him especially during a hard time. This is a great month long devotional that will refocus your perspective off the struggles of your own life and back on Jesus. A must read for those struggling with dark thoughts/depression.

What resources have you found helpful in your walk with the Lord?

The post Top 5 Books on Identity in Christ first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

Proverbs 31 Woman

My husband and I didn’t meet until we were nearing 30. We were both pretty confident in what we wanted in a spouse so when we met, we didn’t waste a lot of time. We dated quickly, married quickly, and got pregnant quickly. So I went from a single woman to a married woman to a mom in a short amount of time. I naively expected I would naturally fall perfectly in line with the Proverbs 31 woman. Proverbs 31 describes a woman who works to help support the family as well as keeps the household together, is full of strength, wisdom, and kindness, never partakes in idleness, and her husband and children praise her – all while not sleeping. Trying to work full time, take care of the household, and take care of a new baby had me feeling like I was treading water, just barely keeping my head above it. Add not sleeping on top of that and all that kindness was gone, leaving little for my husband and sons to praise. I think as women/wives/mothers, we place these expectations on ourselves for perfection – to achieve the Proverbs 31 woman – out of our own sheer will power and strength. Then we find ourselves disappointed and feeling like failures when we can’t live up.  Maybe you don’t have a desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman, maybe instead you are driven to achieve success in a career or even a hobby. We live in a culture where working hard gets you where you need to go. It results in good things, so the harder you work the more you think you deserve to receive – more recognition, more money, more prestige. This same attitude is many times brought into our walk with the Lord as well. If we work harder at being “good”, He will somehow love and bless us more.  But is that truly satisfying or impressive to God?

Our feeble attempts to try to be holy, do good things, and live a “right” life in our own strength are actually achieving the opposite in God’s eyes. It is saying the Gospel isn’t enough – His grace isn’t enough. This is what Paul was encountering when he wrote to the Galatians. He saw how quickly they were deserting the true Gospel they had received from him earlier. He saw that they were listening to false teachers who were convincing them that through works of the law they could somehow satisfy God.  But those works of the law were not pleasing to God, just like our striving to be the perfect woman/wife/mother/employee/child of God aren’t either. We realize as we work hard to fill in this chasm between us and God that no matter how hard we try it doesn’t seem to work, things don’t seem to get better. All we’re left with are feelings of defeat, failure, and depression. The lies that God could never love us and we could never be enough begin to dominate our thought life which in turn begins to affect our actions. The cycle is brutal, ugly, and hopeless. And is exactly where Satan wants us to be. It says in John 8:44, Satan is the father of lies – he will take things that seem good and manipulate them. He will do anything to try and damage our relationship with God and keep us from knowing the truth. So what is the truth? And how do we stop this painful cycle?      

Dead to Sin

The first thing we need to understand is what we died to.

What does it mean when it says “I have been crucified with Christ (Gal 2:20a)”? When we identify with Christ after becoming believers, we are identifying that what He accomplished on the cross is true in our lives too. So what did Christ die for on the cross?

 The main thing we think of when we think of Christ dying on the cross is that he died for our Sin.

We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.  For one who has died has been set free from sin. Romans 6:6-7

As a result of Christ’s sacrifice, we have been set free from sin. We are free from the bondage of this sin condition that has ruled our lives up until we enter into our relationship with God through Christ. This is the sin that entered into mankind in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve partaking of the forbidden fruit. It lied to us, programmed our minds to operate in a way that satisfied our own flesh and desires. Even to these earthly, temporary pleasures we have died. 

And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:24

John Gregory Mantle wrote, “There is a great difference between realizing, ‘On that Cross He was crucified for me,’ and ‘On that Cross I am crucified with Him.’ The one aspect brings us deliverance from sin’s condemnation, the other from sin’s power.”

We are now then crucified or dead to sin’s power.

Dying to Good Works

But I think there’s a little more to it than that. We didn’t just die to our sin condition, we also died to the Law, which in our case would look more like Good Works.

Growing up, I was a middle child to an older sister and younger brother. I fell victim to the Middle Child Syndrome from an early age. I often felt overshadowed and forgotten. I would try to gain attention from my parents by always doing things right and earn their favor. But I never felt like it was enough – if I did get their attention it was just for a moment before my sister or brother did something again to put the attention back on them. As I grew up and started reflecting though, I realized that I had missed it the whole time. My parents had a deep respect and trust for me. They appreciated how I could take care of myself since their attention was often pulled elsewhere. They loved me for me just being me, I didn’t have to try so hard.

I think we do this often as believers. We think that we are saved by grace through faith, but then somehow are required to work for our sanctification or approval of God. That by following the rules laid out and being a good moral person then we somehow can make God notice us, love us, and maybe even give us what we want. But that’s not how it works. He’s always there, respecting us, trusting us, and loving us exactly as we are because of Christ’s sacrifice. Nothing we can do will add or take away from that love. He loves us because He loves us because He loves us – no other reason than that.

yet we know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because by works of the law no one will be justified. Galatians 2:16

Who We Are Now

Once we begin to understand what we’ve been crucified to, next we can start to understand who we are now.

It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. Galatians 2:20b

What does this mean that Christ now lives in us?

We recognize that we identify with Christ and his crucifixion so we must now identify with him in His life. So we now get to share in the life of Christ.

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Colossians 3:1-4

He is now our life and we are with him in glory.

Our old flesh and sin condition have died, and we now have Christ in us so we must be new creations.

We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. Romans 6:4

In Christ, we now have newness of life. We are identified as God’s chosen children.

My husband and I joke that our sons have no hope of being normal. We’re so goofy and quirky, it has to rub off on them. Plus, they were born Byrds. Our genetics are passed down to them. They inherited many of our traits that we’ll see emerge as they develop and grow. They can alter their behavior to try to be more normal than us, but they can never change their DNA.

Receiving Our Inheritance

When we become new Creations in Christ, we are reborn spiritually. We are born into God’s family as his daughter – an heir to His Kingdom. And because Christ is in us, we now start having the attributes of Him showing in our lives.

 And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise. I mean that the heir, as long as he is a child, is no different from a slave, though he is the owner of everything, but he is under guardians and managers until the date set by his father.  In the same way we also, when we were children, were enslaved to the elementary principles of the world.  But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law,  to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.  And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. Galatians 3:29-4:7

Heir is defined here as a sharer by lot or inheriter; by implication, a possessor. We now inherit all of God’s Kingdom, no longer bound by slavery to the world. Knowing you are now dead to sin and not required to do good works to earn God’s favor and that you now have Christ living inside of you, sharing His life and all of God’s Kingdom with you, how could your life not reflect this?

Living by Faith

Lastly, we need to understand how our life reflects this.

The life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20c

We all live by faith every day. When you get in your car, you have faith it will start and will work properly as you drive to the store. Or when you go eat at a restaurant, you have faith you won’t end up with food poisoning. But what are we putting our faith in during our day to day activities? That’s what makes the difference. We must choose who are we living this life for, and that He is worth putting our faith in.

For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died;  and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15

Living by faith in the Son of God is not only believing God is who He says He is. But also, believing I am who God says I am. Neil Anderson in his book Victory over the Darkness says, “Faith in God fails only when people have a faulty understanding of Him.” The only way we can know God is by spending time with Him. Knowing Him is a direct result of abiding in Him through His Word, spending time with Him in prayer and reflection, and taking steps of faith when He leads. This kind of abiding and faith is only accomplished through the Holy Spirit.

The Power Source – The Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit is the key here. It is only out of the Holy Spirit’s leading, strength, and faith that we are able to do anything worthy of God. The Holy Spirit is how Christ lives in us and is always available. When we stop striving out of our own strength and flesh and start resting and abiding in the Holy Spirit, God is glorified and we find true peace and satisfaction. He doesn’t want us to live life alone. He has given us His Spirit to live inside of us. How would that change your viewpoint on every day? If you were always consciously aware of God living inside of you.

You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you. Romans 8:9-11

And when we are aware and make every effort to seek Him in every decision, it takes the pressure off of us. It is no longer about our performance, it’s all about God’s glory.

When my husband and I were preparing to begin our journey towards missions, we encountered trials. My husband got very sick and had to quit his job. I found out I was pregnant unexpectedly. I felt like we should just give up on missions and just try to make it day to day. But my husband had great faith he would be healed and we would get to still go serve the Lord. So he prayed, and we prayed. I struggled to believe it would ever get any better as things seemed to get worse and worse. But Kevin never stopped believing. He had to hold onto the hope of Christ that lived in him. Eventually, Kevin started slowly getting better. And better and better. And then it was time for the baby to be born. So we prepared to go to our training school with a new baby and the chance that Kevin could get sick like that all over again. I had many doubts, but I borrowed some of Kevin’s faith. We got the house ready to sell, and within a day we had a full asking price offer. We got the car ready to sell and within two days of listing it, it was sold. Many other things fell perfectly into place during that time too. I know it was a way God was confirming in both Kevin and I’s hearts that this was the right path. If it wasn’t for Kevin’s faith and hope in the Lord, relying on the Holy Spirit and trusting in God’s promises though, we wouldn’t have gone. I was inspired by him during that time, and I praise God every day for bringing us out of that pit and bringing us into a place of service to Him. Having faith in God isn’t always easy. Most of the time it’s not. But with the Holy Spirit’s help and the decision to trust, it is always fruitful.

Finding Hope in Who We Are

Through understanding what we’ve died to, who we are now, and how our life reflects this new creation, we can break the cycle of pain, disappointment, and exhaustion. We can have hope again. The striving can cease. The grace of God can prevail. We can finally rest in the confidence of being a chosen daughter of God purely for His joy and pleasure and not because of anything we did or could do. But I don’t think this change of living a freed life will happen instantly. The worries and fears of this world will still try to choke us and burden us again under this yoke of slavery. Satan will continue to throw his fiery darts so we forget the goodness of God and give into our fleshly responses and desires. But as we discover more about who God is and who He says we are now, the easier it becomes to live out of faith that it is actually true. The more we rest in and rely on the Holy Spirit, the more our actions become less about us proving ourselves and more about us desiring to glorify God above all else.

When I was growing up I had a dog named PB that thought she was a cat. You see, my uncle’s mom had picked her up off the side of the road where she had been abandoned when she was only a few days old. She took her home and began to care for her. But the only other pets she had inside the house were a lot of cats. So PB grew up learning how to be a cat. She would give herself baths by licking her paws then her ears. She would try to purr. She would sit aloof and not play or do any normal dog like things. When my uncle’s mom died, we took PB in. We didn’t have any cats or other dogs, just her. But we treated her like a dog, even though she acted like a cat. We encouraged her to play, gave her dog treats, and taught her to walk on a leash. Eventually over time, all the cat like tendencies in her were gone and she was just a regular dog that loved to play, dig, and bark.

As we abide in the Holy Spirit and allow Him to speak who we truly are over us, we will begin to believe it. When we begin to believe it, our minds will begin to change. Then our actions will follow. No longer will we feel compelled to be the perfect mom/wife/sister/Christian. But we will be content in our identities as daughters of Christ and will joyfully serve Him. So I urge you mommas, take time to know and trust Him. It is only there your satisfaction lies.

In this post, I talk about some of the resources that have helped my husband and I find our true identities in Christ. And here you can grab your free identity in Christ list printable.

What lies have you been believing about who you are?

The post Living A New Identity: Discover your Identity in Christ first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

I didn’t think my self esteem could get any lower. Then I became a mom.

All of the sudden, I felt like everything I was doing was wrong – potentially screwing up the little human God had entrusted to me. Lies of the past that I thought I had overcome through the truths of God’s Word were re-emerging with a vengeance in addition to all the new ways I felt I was failing as a mom. Patterns of comparing myself to others leading to self-loathing began dominating my thought life. I couldn’t be a good mom, wife, sister, daughter, or woman believing these lies. I couldn’t keep living like this.

Thankfully, through the Lord’s grace and patience, He slowly used people, Scripture, and the love of my family to bring the truth back to light. That’s the thing about God, He never gives up on us. He always knows what we need and will give it to us even if we’re not looking for it. He is the BEST Father giving the best gifts to His children. In His infinite grace and mercy, He reminded me that my life isn’t about me at all. It’s about Him – His glory, His purposes, His Kingdom advancement.

He made each of us exactly as we were supposed to be. And yes, in our fleshly, worldly state, we are weak and incompetent and “failures”. Because we are nothing and can do nothing significant without Him. But WITH Him, IN Him, THROUGH Him, we can accomplish anything He’s asking us to do. We are complete, whole, forgiven, free, and perfect.

I don’t need to worry about being enough for my husband, kids, family, or friends as long as I’m living humbly submitted to the Holy Spirit and walking in obedience with Him. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to make that choice to walk in humble obedience every minute of every day or that I don’t still battle the lies and worries that come with being a mother. But it does provide freedom when I choose to receive it. I have the choice in every moment to receive the identity I have in Christ and die to my flesh and be the mother and wife God created me to be. I can actually rejoice in my weaknesses and failures because that shows God’s power, grace, and abilities even more. And if I’m truly living the life He’s called me to, that’s exactly what I should be doing. So let’s REJOICE mommas!! In this beautiful, messy, grace-filled life God has ordained before us.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

The post The Perfectly Imperfect Mom first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.