The Perfectly Imperfect Mom
I have never felt like I was enough – pretty enough, fit enough, funny enough, smart enough. I struggled through childhood and adolescence trying to be invisible, hoping no one would notice me.
I didn’t think my self esteem could get any lower. Then I became a mom.
All of the sudden, I felt like everything I was doing was wrong – potentially screwing up the little human God had entrusted to me. Lies of the past that I thought I had overcome through the truths of God’s Word were re-emerging with a vengeance in addition to all the new ways I felt I was failing as a mom. Patterns of comparing myself to others leading to self-loathing began dominating my thought life. I couldn’t be a good mom, wife, sister, daughter, or woman believing these lies. I couldn’t keep living like this.
Thankfully, through the Lord’s grace and patience, He slowly used people, Scripture, and the love of my family to bring the truth back to light. That’s the thing about God, He never gives up on us. He always knows what we need and will give it to us even if we’re not looking for it. He is the BEST Father giving the best gifts to His children. In His infinite grace and mercy, He reminded me that my life isn’t about me at all. It’s about Him – His glory, His purposes, His Kingdom advancement.
He made each of us exactly as we were supposed to be. And yes, in our fleshly, worldly state, we are weak and incompetent and “failures”. Because we are nothing and can do nothing significant without Him. But WITH Him, IN Him, THROUGH Him, we can accomplish anything He’s asking us to do. We are complete, whole, forgiven, free, and perfect.
I don’t need to worry about being enough for my husband, kids, family, or friends as long as I’m living humbly submitted to the Holy Spirit and walking in obedience with Him. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to make that choice to walk in humble obedience every minute of every day or that I don’t still battle the lies and worries that come with being a mother. But it does provide freedom when I choose to receive it. I have the choice in every moment to receive the identity I have in Christ and die to my flesh and be the mother and wife God created me to be. I can actually rejoice in my weaknesses and failures because that shows God’s power, grace, and abilities even more. And if I’m truly living the life He’s called me to, that’s exactly what I should be doing. So let’s REJOICE mommas!! In this beautiful, messy, grace-filled life God has ordained before us.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
