God is faithful all the time and always gives us what we need when we need it. We actually have everything we need for faith and godliness through His Spirit that lives within us (2 Peter 1:3). We don’t have to spend our time begging God for things that are already ours. We just have to believe and receive these things. Spending time praising God instead of asking Him for things will realign your heart and mind to the Lord’s will and desire for your life as well as His unconditional love for you and faithfulness to you.

Why is it important to praise God?

Praising God puts Him back into His proper place in our lives – as King, Lord, and Mighty God. Although He is also our loving Father who loves to hear our requests, He is not there to just answer everything we ask the way we want. He is sovereign, good, and in control of every situation. Acknowledging that by praising Him puts your requests to Him in their proper place and reminds you that no matter what happens in those situations He is still good.

Praise is a chance to thank God for all that He’s done in your life. The more you praise Him, the more you’ll realize how much He’s done for you and continues to do for you. It helps refocus your mind on the Lord instead of your current circumstances. This will end up changing your perspective on how you see and encounter the world every day.

We see over and over again in the Bible where it emphasizes praise. Although the Bible does mention the importance of prayer and presenting your requests to God, it speaks even more about praising God in every circumstance.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:4-7

This doesn’t say “praise God when you feel like or when things are going your way.” It says “Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS”! And as we see as we read on, the reward for praying with thanksgiving in all things is peace that surpasses all understanding and guards our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Peace, a guarded mind, intimacy with the Lord, a changed perspective, and joy are all byproducts of praise. It can change your entire life. You can read more about how praise can change your perspective on everything here.

Why is it easier to make requests than praise?

But we know this idea to praise God doesn’t always come easily. It never has. It is an area satan loves to attack because he is the one that wants praise. That’s why he was cast out of heaven to begin with. He thought was he was something very special and beautiful, and that he deserved the glory and honor that belonged to God only (Ezekiel 28:11-19).

Try to remember that satan does not like it when you praise God. He will do what he can to try to redirect your thoughts and fill your head with lies. Often times when something we are walking through is difficult, we begin to believe that God is not good. This is to satan’s delight. He wants us to doubt God’s goodness in even the smallest things so that we will start doubting God in the biggest things.

Being aware that this is an area satan wants victory in your life can help you combat it effectively by consciously choosing to not entertain these lies. You can stop the lies in their tracks by doing exactly what satan doesn’t want you to do – praising God in every situation.

Examples of Prayers to Praise God in the Bible

In the Bible you will see examples of people going through hard or tempting times and choosing not to praise or seek God. There is always unhappiness and things continue to get worse for them, and God uses discipline and tries to draw them back to Himself. Sometimes the person will return to the Lord, and He always receives them with open and willing arms because first and foremost He loves and wants the best for all of us. But if the person does not repent, he will never experience God’s true peace and love that He has available to him.

But we also see some examples of people in the Bible who are in challenging times and choose to praise God. And although things may not immediately get better, they get to experience God’s love and peace during the challenging time. And they can continue to trust in the goodness in God because they know He is working out all things for their good and His glory (Romans 8:28).

Job

The book of Job is full of temptation and difficult circumstances as God allows satan control over all Job has. He takes all his land and livestock, and he kills his children. Job’s response was one of grief but also praise:

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” – Job 1:21

Satan doesn’t stop there. He then curses him with sickness, and even his wife encourages Job to curse God but he does not. His friends come and try to tempt him to doubt God or come to repentance before God, but Job continued to stand strong that God was good and that he had not done anything against the Lord.

Through it all, Job may have questioned God as to why all of this was happening, but He never doubted God’s goodness. And at the end, God expressed his anger against his three friends that they not only doubted Him but they were encouraging Job to doubt and curse Him. But God praised Job for his faithfulness to Him and trust in Him.

Job 42:10 says, “And the Lord restored the fortunes of Job, when he had prayed for his friends. And the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before.” Job’s faithfulness and praise to the Lord resulted in not only His endurance during the hardship but something better at the end of it all. We can trust God in even the hardest situations to be working things for good.

Mary, mother of Jesus

As a woman and mother, it is easy for me to identify how difficult it would have been for Mary to walk in the shame of a teenage, unplanned pregnancy without your fiance. But Mary did not hesitate to accept the Lord’s will when the angel who came to her and told her what was to happen. She said in Luke 1:38:

“Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.”

I’m sure she must have been terrified and maybe even full of doubt and confusion as to what was happening. So she went to visit her cousin Elizabeth for comfort and confirmation. When she walked in and Elizabeth confirmed what the angel had already told her, she exclaimed in praise to the Lord:

“My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name.” – Luke 1:47-49

Praising God didn’t change the situation. She was still going to have to walk through a lonely and shameful life of premarital pregnancy. But she praised God and kept her eyes on Him because she knew the result was going to be worth it. I know we don’t always get angels directly delivering us news, but we can trust that God is still one who loves and works things out for our good.

Steps to turn your Requests to Prayers to Praise God

1 – Change Your Mindset

Instead of looking at things as what needs to change, try to see what God is doing in and through them. Praying for the Holy Spirit to reveal the good in even the worst situations can help you see things differently. It can be a simple thing to change the way you pray from asking to praising. Instead of “God please help me” make it “God thank you for.”

2 – Ask the Holy Spirit to Direct Your Prayers

The Holy Spirit is God living inside of us. He knows what needs to happen in every circumstance. Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom and guidance when praying for a situation. And if you don’t know what to pray, the Holy Spirit is directly interceding on behalf of us (Romans 8:26-27).

3 – Stay in the Word

God’s Word is full of His promises. Instead of looking at and focusing on your problems, look at God’s Word and see all that He has done for you. The more you’re in the Word, the more you will be reminded of God’s goodness and sovereignty. Time and time again we see situations in the Bible that seem bad at the moment, but God is using for good. If you keep reading these truths, you will start believing they are true for you too.

4 – Remember What God has Already Done

Look back and see God’s faithfulness in your life. You can look at difficult situations from your past and see how God came through and brought good out of the bad. No one can take away your testimony of God’s goodness in your own life. Remind yourself of it often, and you will see God hasn’t forgotten or given you up on you now.

5 – Write out Your Prayers

A good way to really organize your thoughts and help focus your prayer life is by writing down your prayers. You don’t have to do it all the time, but every now and then it can be really good at focusing your prayers into praises. Another great way to remember God’s goodness is to at least keep an ongoing list of prayers and answers. Write down your request and when you see the answer write it next to the request. You will really start to see how God is working and moving in your life through this.

Example Requests turned to Prayers to Praise God

So let’s look a couple of practical examples on how you can turn your simple everyday requests into prayers to praise God.

1 – When praying for self-control

As a request: “God, please help me not eat that piece of chocolate cake.”

As a praise: “God, thank you for giving me self-control to not eat the chocolate cake because you know it is not best for me.”

2 – When praying for sickness

As a request: “God, please take away my pain and heal me.”

As a praise: “God, thank you for all the healing you have done throughout my life. I praise you for taking care of me and always knowing what is best. Thank you that you will continue to use healing in my life.”

3 – When praying for forgiveness from being hurt by a person

As a request: “God, please help me forgive Cathy for talking bad about me behind my back.”

As a praise: “God, thank you for your forgiveness that you shower on me and that flows out of me and into others. Thank you that you give me the ability to forgive so that a root of bitterness does not take hold in my heart. Thank you that you give me all I need to fight the spiritual battles that rage around me because I know I am not fighting flesh and blood but spiritual forces of darkness.”

4 – When praying for God’s will in a certain situation

As a request: “God, please reveal your will to me so that I don’t miss out on what you want me to do in this situation.”

As a praise: “God, thank you that you have given me the mind of Christ. Thank you for your Holy Spirit that lives inside me and directs my steps. Thank you that no matter what decision I make, you are with me, never leaving me.”

5 – When praying for your kids to behave

As a request: “God, please help my kids listen to me and learn how to do what is right.”

As a praise: “God, thank you for giving me the gift of my children. Thank you that you love them more than I do and are working in their hearts and lives even now. Thank you that you give me patience, grace, and wise discipline through your Holy Spirit.”

Do you see the difference? You can take any simple request and turn it into a phrase of praise. This changes your attitude in any situation and always keeps God as Lord and the one who truly is in control.

What I like to do when I pray is start every request with a praise. I praise then ask for things. Then when I do request things, I ask in a simpler more submissive way trusting that God is truly good and sovereign over every situation.

How do you keep your mind focused on the goodness of God?

The post How to Turn Your Requests to Prayers to Praise God first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

It wasn’t until I started to learn about who God was, and His incredible love for me that I started to understand that there was more to this Christian life than I thought possible. I wasn’t “serving” a harsh Father, but I was adopted into a new spiritual family that not only showered me with grace and love but allowed me to have my inheritance now! If identity in Christ is a new concept for you, I encourage you to read this post or look at these resources for more information.

What are declarations about identity in Christ?

A declaration is defined as a formal or explicit statement or announcement. A declaration about identity in Christ is a truth about who you are in Christ that you are declaring over yourself and other believers. It is something you can do alone or with a group. It is speaking a truth out loud whether you believe it in the moment or not.

The Bible is full of declarations of who you are as a believer. It is also full of declarations about who God is. Learning both of these truths will transform your Christian walk from shame to joy and guilt to freedom. You can’t fully believe who you are in Christ until you start believing God is who He says He is.

Why do we need to do declarations?

Declarations are an important exercise to do as believers, especially speaking them out loud. It releases light and truth into the atmosphere that we walk in. It reminds us who we are in Christ and the victory we have to live in. It helps retrain our thinking to stand on the truth and not believe the lies of the enemy.

It takes time to retrain our thoughts to believe some of these truths from the identity in Christ list. It goes against maybe what you were taught to believe growing up or what you’ve seen and experienced from other believers. It goes against what the enemy is trying to get you to believe about yourself. So it is important to regularly speak these truths over yourself over and over again until you believe they are true. And then some more to speak it out so the enemy knows you believe they are true. Once you start believing and living these truths, you will experience more freedom and joy than you ever thought possible!!

Your Identity in Christ List

The following identity in Christ list will help point you to who you are now that you are a believer. Each truth is back up by Scripture. You can print out the printable list or write out your own copy to have these truths handy every day. Keep them close and read them often and see how God begins transforming your mind and life!

1. I am a new creation. 2 Corinthians 5:17
2. I am a child of God. John 1:12
3. I am a co-heir in Christ’s inheritance. Romans 8:17, Galatians 4:6-7
4. I am a citizen of heaven and seated there right now. Philippians 3:20, Ephesians 2:6
5. I am dearly and unconditionally loved. Romans 8:38-39
6. I am the salt and light of the world. Matthew 5:13-14
7. God will provide for all of my needs. Matthew 6:25-33
8. I am forgiven and free from the guilt of sin. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19, Colossians 2:13-15, Hebrews 9:26
9. I am a saint. Hebrews 10:10, Ephesians 1:1
10. I am a temple of the Holy Spirit. 1 Corinthians 3:16, 6:19-20
11. I am a stranger in this world. 1 Peter 2:11
12. The enemy cannot hurt me. 1 John 5:18
13. I am righteous and holy. 2 Corinthians 5:21, Ephesians 4:24
14. I am hidden in God with Christ. Colossians 3:3
15. I am a member of Christ’s body with specific gifts and purposes. Ephesians 2:10, 1 Corinthians 12:4-11
16. I was knit together in my mother’s womb for specific Kingdom purposes. Psalm 139:13-16
17. I walk in victory. 1 John 5:4
18. I am chosen. John 15:16, Colossians 3:12, 1 Thessalonians 1:4, 1 Peter 2:9-10
19. I have everything I need for life and godliness. 2 Peter 1:3-4
20. I am part of God’s family. Ephesians 2:19
21. I am a daughter/son of light and darkness cannot overtake me. 1 Thessalonians 5:5
22. I am an enemy of the devil. 1 Peter 5:8
23. I have purpose while I am still on earth, and God does not waste a day of my life. Psalm 139:16, Psalm 138:8, Philippians 1:6
24. God is working all things for my good and His glory. Romans 8:28
25. I do not battle flesh and blood but evil forces of darkness and are equipped to fight and win the battle. Ephesians 6:10-18
26. I am Christ’s friend. John 15:15
27. I have a heavenly calling. Hebrews 3:1
28. I share Christ’s life. Hebrews 3:14
29. I am a living stone used to build a spiritual house. 1 Peter 2:4-5
30. I have the mind of Christ and reflect Him. 1 John 3:2, 1 Corinthians 2:16

How to use your Identity in Christ List

Take this copy of the list or make your own copy or notecards to keep around your house. Keep it in places that you will see it often. I recommend reading it out loud when you wake up every day as a way to set your mind right first thing. Also when you are struggling with believing something, maybe even a specific truth from this list, have it handy to read out loud the truths to fight the lie and struggle in the moment. It would also be good to read the Scriptures out loud when you are struggling in any specific area.

This may seem tedious and repetitive, but that is how retraining your brain works. It takes time and persistence. Lies that you have believed since childhood or that are deeply ingrained from a traumatic experience will take time to rewire to these truths. But the more you do it, the easier it becomes – not to just read them out loud but to actually start believing them. It may be good to tackle some of the ones that are hard for you to believe one at a time, conquering one truth before moving onto another.

God will use this practice to bring freedom, joy, and new life to you. He is faithful and good wanting you to not just live but thrive in your life in Him. He loves you more than you could ever understand and wants you to live in this free gift of grace and mercy He’s given you. Prayerfully seek Him on these things and cling to Him when you doubt or worry. He will bring healing and restoration to your life through His sacrifice.

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The post 30 Declarations of Your Identity in Christ (plus Free Identity in Christ List Printable) first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

The key to this piece of marriage advice is that it’s not about us at all. It’s not about communicating a certain way or spending “X” amount of time together everyday. While those things are important, I think they are secondary changes that will come naturally or more easily once you start doing this one thing every day. And that thing is praying with your spouse every single day.

Note: If you are in any kind of unhealthy abusive relationship (physical, spiritual, or emotional) then I encourage you to first seek professional help from a counselor or pastor.

This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase using this link. Please see my disclosure for more details.

Why is Praying Important Marriage Advice for Christians?

As believers when we enter in the union of marriage, it’s not just between a man and a woman. It is between man, woman, and God. So why would we not include God in the day to day with our spouse? Your individual relationship with God is important because it is unique and yours, but your relationship with your husband and God is also important because it realigns your marriage to what it’s supposed to be all about.

The thing I do not understand is how little this is talked about. I don’t remember this piece of advice coming up during premarital counseling, advice from friends or family, or even talked about much in the church. I think this is probably because Satan does not want this to happen. He will always come up with excuses and reasons why this would not work for you and your spouse. His goal is to destroy these God centered relationships and families so he’s always prowling around seeking to kill and destroy (1 Peter 5:8, John 10:10).

Focusing on Prayer is the First Step to Fixing Other Problems

There is a lot of advice out there for marriage. How to fight, how to make up, how to encourage each other, how to show each other you love the other person. And it is all good. I do not want to negate this advice because it can and will be beneficial to marriage. But I think one of the best places to start is at the foot of the Throne – together.

When Kevin and I decided to start praying together, it took a couple weeks for it to become more normal and natural. We of course prayed separately and prayed for and encouraged each other, but something started to change as we started to make that time to pray together. Now I can’t go to sleep if we haven’t prayed together before bed. It is something I crave and need to be able to sleep peacefully.

We still have our problems like any couple! We are still living and battling the flesh, and unfortunately it wins out more than I’d like. But even if one of us is mad, we still pray together. It may be short and sweet or maybe just one person prays instead of both, but just a few minutes of prayer can soften my hardened heart and break my stubborn pride.

Coming together and bringing your pain, problems, and disappointments to the foot of the cross can break communication barriers, pride, and uncertainty. It can remind and realign your marriage to what it is meant to be – a reflection of the Gospel.

God’s Design for Marriage – a Reflection of the Gospel

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. – Ephesians 5:25-33

When you look at your marriage, do you see the Gospel?

It’s easy to read the above verses and put all the burden on the husband to love the wife perfectly the way Christ loves the church. While the husband may carry more of a load as our leader, it is not necessary that he feels this burden alone. As wives we are called to submit to and respect our husbands. When you are being submissive and respectful, how much easier is it to love you?

We should not place unrealistic expectations on our husbands to love us perfectly because they are also still battling in the flesh. We were created to be our husband’s helpmate (Genesis 2:18). How are we helping point our husbands back to Christ so that he can faithfully and obediently lead, serve, and love our families?

Christ loves His church (us) perfectly all the time. But we don’t get to experience the full extent of that love if we are not submitting and respecting the Lord. It is the same with our relationship with our husbands except that our husbands can’t love us perfectly because they are still in the flesh. We don’t get to experience the full extent of our husband’s love for us if we are in a battle against them all the time.

When you pray together you can start seeing your spouse for the saint that they are in Christ and encourage and support them in the unique role God has given them for marriage. You are also reminded of your own imperfections especially within the marriage relationship. It can open up many wonderful conversations and healing opportunities.

The very best book I have ever read about marriage reflecting the Gospel is You and Me by Francis Chan. If you have not read it yet, please check it out. My husband and I read each chapter individually then would chat about what we read. They also have a workbook you can do individually or together with your spouse.

Why don’t we all strive to love our spouses the way that Christ loves us? Not only will it bring health to your marriage, it will also be a way in which your life will beautifully display the Gospel to non-believers.

Tips for How to Pray Together

You may be thinking you have no idea where to get started to pray with your spouse. That’s OK!! It is not as hard and complicated as you may feel it should be. Something as simple as a few minutes is a great place to start.

1 – Pick a time to do it and stick to it

What worked best for me and my husband was to pray right before bed. We always have gotten in bed at the same time so it worked out perfectly for us to pray together as soon as we got into bed before watching bedtime tv or reading. Maybe you and your husband go to bed at different times, that’s ok!

Think through your day. What is one time you could both set aside to pray together?

Maybe it’s first thing in the morning because you wake up at the same time. Or maybe it’s at a meal time where you could take 5 minutes together before enjoying your meal. I do encourage it to be a time alone with just you and your husband. No children or other distractions.

2 – Both of you take a turn

I highly encourage this not be a one sided prayer, meaning just you or your husband. Every night, my husband starts off the prayer and I finish it off. Some nights when one of us is sick (or angry) just one of us will pray. But this is the exception not the rule.

It may not be comfortable for you to pray out loud in front of anyone, even your husband. Pray through this fear and be bold! Just pray how you would pray normally but out loud. The more you do it, the more comfortable it will become.

3 – Pray what’s on your heart

Don’t worry about saying the “right things” or praying a certain way, that’s not what this is about. It’s about you being open and vulnerable with your spouse and the Lord. Pray what’s on your heart no matter how silly it may sound. That’s the only way you’ll start to experience more intimacy.

God doesn’t expect perfection, and I’m sure neither does your husband. God wants your heart, all of you. He wants to hear everything you have to say even if it’s anger or selfishness. Through being open and expressing all your feelings and thoughts, God will start to work on those areas to bring healing, and once your spouse knows these areas of struggle they can start encouraging you in them.

4 – Don’t worry about how long you pray for

This is not about big long expansive prayers. Start out small. If you each only have one minute of stuff to pray, that’s ok. It’s starting somewhere. The more you do it, the more comfortable you get, and the longer it will become. You’re not trying to set any kind of records or anything.

This is a time for you, your husband, and the Lord to connect. It’s not for any other purpose. Use this time how you see fit would benefit your marriage and your connection with the Lord most wisely.

What if your Husband will not Participate?

Do not give up. It’s ok if your husband doesn’t jump on board the first time you mention it. Some people are very private or not in a place spiritually where they feel like they can do it. If your husband will not get upset, some gentle encouragement may help nudge him in the right direction. This is not something to condemn your husband about or pressure him into doing. If you are both not equally on board, you will not see fruit.

If your husband is just dead set against it, start praying for it to happen. Over time God will work on softening his heart and opening him up to the opportunity. I believe this is something God delights in and desires to see happen in every marriage. It may take some time, but don’t give up on God. Stay faithful in prayer, and He will hear and answer.

If your husband is not a believer, then the same is true. Pray for him. Stay faithful in prayer for him. Don’t doubt God’s goodness and love for your husband and family. God loves your husband more than you ever could so He is working and moving whether you can see it or not. Prayerfully serve and encourage your husband in the Lord, and allow God to work and move within him.

Remember you cannot change any person, only God can. So don’t get frustrated with that person if they don’t do things according to your expectations. God is working something through both of you in the waiting and uncertainty.

Conclusion

The truth of the matter is praying can strengthen and encourage your marriage if you will take the intentional time every day to do it together. But this is not a magic pill that will fix everything instantly. It does bring your marriage back into the design it was supposed to be – with God involved everyday.

I pray that you can find hope, encouragement, and healing through beginning to pray with your spouse everyday.

What is your one piece of marriage advice that has transformed your marriage?

The post One Piece of Transformational Marriage Advice for Christians first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

Both of us began our journeys to finding who we truly were through different Christian discipleship counselors. Since then, we continue to learn and grow through various resources including the Bible, Christian teaching (podcasts/sermons/conferences), discipleship, the Holy Spirit, prayer, and books. All of these resources can be valuable, but we have to be careful and check everything we learn from outside sources against the Bible and in prayer listening to the Holy Spirit to verify it is good and true.

If you are interested in learning more about what I mean when I say identity in Christ, check out the blog post I wrote about it here. Also please don’t hesitate to reach out to me or to check out our top 5 resources we’ve found on the subject.

*This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase using this link. Please see my disclosure for more details.

1 – Neil Anderson – Victory Over the Darkness

Neil Anderson has a lot of really great resources pertaining to our identities in Christ. I found the first part of the book to be a little drier, but stick with it because it does get better! This is the best place to start if you are new to him or just learning about your identity in Christ. It is full of so many good things like the battle we’re in and how to overcome it, finding freedom from your past, discovering how God sees you, winning the battle of your mind, and more!

2 – Neil Anderson – The Bondage Breaker

After finishing Victory Over the Darkness, The Bondage Breaker is a great next read. It has a lot of really good information about breaking free from things that may be oppressing or entangling you. There is a section in the book called Steps to Freedom. I highly recommend going through these steps by yourself or with a friend or mentor. There is also a workbook that is specifically for the Steps to Freedom. It is a great resource to have to identify areas of bondage that you may not even realize are there and finding freedom from them.

3 – Paul Ellis – The Gospel in Ten Words

This book is packed with awesome truth! If I could have highlighted the whole book I would have. Expanding on 10 key words of the Gospel, this book explains it in simple terms while also exposing some truths you may have never thought of. I would highly recommend this for any believer – old or new. It will reignite your heart and love for the Gospel!

4 – Bill Gillham – Lifetime Guarantee

Bill Gillham is also another great resource for identity in Christ. Anything he has will be good, but this is a great one to start out with of his. He talks about his own struggle of trying to live for God out of the flesh and helps readers identify this struggle in their own lives. He of course doesn’t stop there though but talks about how victory comes from realizing and living from our true identities in Christ and what God wants out of life for us.

5 – Ruth Myers – 31 Days of Praise

There is nothing that can align you more with the Lord and His will and identity for you than praise. I have found that the most intimate times I have with the Lord are when I’m praising Him especially during a hard time. This is a great month long devotional that will refocus your perspective off the struggles of your own life and back on Jesus. A must read for those struggling with dark thoughts/depression.

What resources have you found helpful in your walk with the Lord?

The post Top 5 Books on Identity in Christ first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

Expectations.

We all have them. We have them for our spouses, children, friends, family, teachers, and even God. Whether we consciously recognize it or not, we have expectations for everyone and everything.

Normally these expectations are for things to go positively for us. Our spouses should read our minds and do everything exactly as we want without us asking. Our children should behave perfectly at all times especially when around strangers. God should answer all our prayers exactly as we pray them without having to wait.

And when things don’t seem to go the way we expect in the timing we expect, our frustration may begin to increase then the longer we wait the more the frustration turns into anger until we finally explode! Whether we explode on the intended disappointer may or may not happen depending on our relationship on them. Usually for me I end up taking it all out on those closest to me, my family.

Is it fair that I get easily frustrated and angry with my family when I can’t figure out something for work or my friend doesn’t seem to want to hang out with me anymore? Nope not really. Is it then fair to get angry at God when the real deceiver is actually Satan? Definitely not.

So why do we do this and how can we combat it?

We are in a battle.

The battle we are in may be for our thoughts, attention, or even body. Even if it seems as though a person or thing is causing us grief, it really comes down to only one – Satan.

He is the ruler of this world (2 Corinthians 4:4; 1 John 5:19). He controls the air waves (Ephesians 2:2 – think tv, music, gossip, etc). He is a roaring lion waiting to attack (1 Peter 5:8). He is after us. He is after our minds, desires, bodies, emotions. This battle is not against your friend or problem at work – it’s much more than that. It’s a spiritual battle against the dark forces (Ephesians 6:12).

Everything comes down to that. You aren’t fighting people and things. It is spiritual, and it is everywhere.

As believers we sit in victory with Jesus at the right hand of God (Ephesians 2:4-7). We sit in a posture of victory because Jesus has already won the battle for our souls. We win, and Satan does not like that. He is going to do everything he can to distract and steal that joy of victory from God’s children. Whether it’s a little lie you’re believing or a full attack on your physical body, he is trying to gain some ground. To win the battle of the flesh.

Before Jesus comes back or calls us home, we are always going to be in a battle. A battle on two fronts. One against the outside attack of Satan through disappointments from people, lies being spread on social media or the news, physical attacks on our body or character. The other is a little more subtle and maybe even hard to see at times – the battle against our own flesh. We were born sinners with natural tendencies to sin. And although we became saints when we became believers and Christ gave us our new identities, those natural tendencies are still there while we’re still here in the flesh.

I know I wish these tendencies would just disappear all together for me whenever I received Christ. It’s just not how it happens unfortunately. I have heard miracles of God supernaturally removing a temptation from a believer’s life, but most likely there’s still something that plagues you. The thing you wish you could just “get together.”

Maybe it’s over eating, over committing, or over working. Maybe it’s people pleasing (hello! Me!), becoming easily angered, or always having to be right or have the last word. Maybe something else or lots of things. We live in our physical bodies. There’s no way to run away from these temptations or experience lasting change out of your own efforts to fix things.

How to Fight.

So what does this mean? We will just always react out of flawed flesh even though we’re supposed to be new creations? The answer is No of course not! God has given us all we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3-4). This is through His Holy Spirit (Romans 8:1-11). Through the Holy Spirit our minds are being renewed day by day (Romans 12:2, 2 Corinthians 4:16). We are to take EVERY (not some, but every) thought captive to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 2:5). We can recognize this is happening when you start to notice your thoughts are pure, holy, noble, or praise worthy as described in Philippians 4:8. Our natural mind is not prone to such thinking, but our minds submitted to the Spirit can’t help but think of these things.

I can’t emphasize it enough. There is no way through your own effort that you can change yourself or make yourself any better. Only God working in you through the Holy Spirit can cause real, lasting change to happen. Only the Holy Spirit can give you the grace to walk away from that argument or the courage to share the gospel with that stranger or friend. Every single good thing in you and done through you is from God and He should receive all the praise for it.

As we guard our minds in Christ against the battle of the flesh, God also gives us the armor to suit up against the external attacks of the enemy. Ephesians 6:10-18 describes all that the Father has given you to combat these external attacks. He has suited us with His armor so that we are fully prepared for any attack. But it comes down to us making the choice to put it on and use it effectively in battle – living submitted to His Spirit and equipped with His Word.

He enables us to live out our victorious life in every aspect. Even in this fallen, evil world where Satan still reigns. Just because he reigns in the world does not mean he has any authority to reign in any area of our lives. Reminder – we are sitting in victory with Jesus right now in the heavenlies. We live and walk in victory every time we decide to stop, pray, and submit to the Holy Spirit.

One way to know and see we are walking and living in the Holy Spirit is seeing the evidence of the fruits of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). These are not things that we can pretend to do or make ourselves do in the flesh. They are GIFTS of the SPIRIT. They come from God and are ours to exemplify when we live submissive and obedient to the Spirit.

Back to Expectations.

So let’s go back to expectations. What does all this mean? Living with certain expectations isn’t necessarily bad but it’s where those expectations come from and how we respond when they don’t pan out as we want that matters. If you’re living submitted to the Spirit, your expectations will align with God’s (1 Corinthians 2:16) and you will not worry about timing or the way it will all happen.

But when your expectations are of your own doing, nothing but disappointment will meet you. Because the timing and way it comes to be will most likely not go your way. This will result in frustration and anger at people around you (who are not at fault by the way-Satan is) or God (who also is not at fault because He knows better than we could ever know). So it may be a good opportunity to look in our hearts, examine our motives, and find the source of our disappointments. There you can get to the truth – the expectations that aren’t/weren’t being met and you can prayerfully submit them to God and combat them with Truth.

God desires for us to live peaceful, joyful life full of delighting in His gifts. He truly does have the best for us at heart. Sometimes all it takes is a realignment of our spirits to see and receive that truth. I’m praying you will find the peace and joy of the Lord today and experience true freedom from any disappointments or unmet expectations you are carrying.

The post Expectations: The Great Disappointer first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

Proverbs 31 Woman

My husband and I didn’t meet until we were nearing 30. We were both pretty confident in what we wanted in a spouse so when we met, we didn’t waste a lot of time. We dated quickly, married quickly, and got pregnant quickly. So I went from a single woman to a married woman to a mom in a short amount of time. I naively expected I would naturally fall perfectly in line with the Proverbs 31 woman. Proverbs 31 describes a woman who works to help support the family as well as keeps the household together, is full of strength, wisdom, and kindness, never partakes in idleness, and her husband and children praise her – all while not sleeping. Trying to work full time, take care of the household, and take care of a new baby had me feeling like I was treading water, just barely keeping my head above it. Add not sleeping on top of that and all that kindness was gone, leaving little for my husband and sons to praise. I think as women/wives/mothers, we place these expectations on ourselves for perfection – to achieve the Proverbs 31 woman – out of our own sheer will power and strength. Then we find ourselves disappointed and feeling like failures when we can’t live up.  Maybe you don’t have a desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman, maybe instead you are driven to achieve success in a career or even a hobby. We live in a culture where working hard gets you where you need to go. It results in good things, so the harder you work the more you think you deserve to receive – more recognition, more money, more prestige. This same attitude is many times brought into our walk with the Lord as well. If we work harder at being “good”, He will somehow love and bless us more.  But is that truly satisfying or impressive to God?

Our feeble attempts to try to be holy, do good things, and live a “right” life in our own strength are actually achieving the opposite in God’s eyes. It is saying the Gospel isn’t enough – His grace isn’t enough. This is what Paul was encountering when he wrote to the Galatians. He saw how quickly they were deserting the true Gospel they had received from him earlier. He saw that they were listening to false teachers who were convincing them that through works of the law they could somehow satisfy God.  But those works of the law were not pleasing to God, just like our striving to be the perfect woman/wife/mother/employee/child of God aren’t either. We realize as we work hard to fill in this chasm between us and God that no matter how hard we try it doesn’t seem to work, things don’t seem to get better. All we’re left with are feelings of defeat, failure, and depression. The lies that God could never love us and we could never be enough begin to dominate our thought life which in turn begins to affect our actions. The cycle is brutal, ugly, and hopeless. And is exactly where Satan wants us to be. It says in John 8:44, Satan is the father of lies – he will take things that seem good and manipulate them. He will do anything to try and damage our relationship with God and keep us from knowing the truth. So what is the truth? And how do we stop this painful cycle?      

Dead to Sin

The first thing we need to understand is what we died to.

What does it mean when it says “I have been crucified with Christ (Gal 2:20a)”? When we identify with Christ after becoming believers, we are identifying that what He accomplished on the cross is true in our lives too. So what did Christ die for on the cross?

 The main thing we think of when we think of Christ dying on the cross is that he died for our Sin.

We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.  For one who has died has been set free from sin. Romans 6:6-7

As a result of Christ’s sacrifice, we have been set free from sin. We are free from the bondage of this sin condition that has ruled our lives up until we enter into our relationship with God through Christ. This is the sin that entered into mankind in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve partaking of the forbidden fruit. It lied to us, programmed our minds to operate in a way that satisfied our own flesh and desires. Even to these earthly, temporary pleasures we have died. 

And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:24

John Gregory Mantle wrote, “There is a great difference between realizing, ‘On that Cross He was crucified for me,’ and ‘On that Cross I am crucified with Him.’ The one aspect brings us deliverance from sin’s condemnation, the other from sin’s power.”

We are now then crucified or dead to sin’s power.

Dying to Good Works

But I think there’s a little more to it than that. We didn’t just die to our sin condition, we also died to the Law, which in our case would look more like Good Works.

Growing up, I was a middle child to an older sister and younger brother. I fell victim to the Middle Child Syndrome from an early age. I often felt overshadowed and forgotten. I would try to gain attention from my parents by always doing things right and earn their favor. But I never felt like it was enough – if I did get their attention it was just for a moment before my sister or brother did something again to put the attention back on them. As I grew up and started reflecting though, I realized that I had missed it the whole time. My parents had a deep respect and trust for me. They appreciated how I could take care of myself since their attention was often pulled elsewhere. They loved me for me just being me, I didn’t have to try so hard.

I think we do this often as believers. We think that we are saved by grace through faith, but then somehow are required to work for our sanctification or approval of God. That by following the rules laid out and being a good moral person then we somehow can make God notice us, love us, and maybe even give us what we want. But that’s not how it works. He’s always there, respecting us, trusting us, and loving us exactly as we are because of Christ’s sacrifice. Nothing we can do will add or take away from that love. He loves us because He loves us because He loves us – no other reason than that.

yet we know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because by works of the law no one will be justified. Galatians 2:16

Who We Are Now

Once we begin to understand what we’ve been crucified to, next we can start to understand who we are now.

It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. Galatians 2:20b

What does this mean that Christ now lives in us?

We recognize that we identify with Christ and his crucifixion so we must now identify with him in His life. So we now get to share in the life of Christ.

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Colossians 3:1-4

He is now our life and we are with him in glory.

Our old flesh and sin condition have died, and we now have Christ in us so we must be new creations.

We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. Romans 6:4

In Christ, we now have newness of life. We are identified as God’s chosen children.

My husband and I joke that our sons have no hope of being normal. We’re so goofy and quirky, it has to rub off on them. Plus, they were born Byrds. Our genetics are passed down to them. They inherited many of our traits that we’ll see emerge as they develop and grow. They can alter their behavior to try to be more normal than us, but they can never change their DNA.

Receiving Our Inheritance

When we become new Creations in Christ, we are reborn spiritually. We are born into God’s family as his daughter – an heir to His Kingdom. And because Christ is in us, we now start having the attributes of Him showing in our lives.

 And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise. I mean that the heir, as long as he is a child, is no different from a slave, though he is the owner of everything, but he is under guardians and managers until the date set by his father.  In the same way we also, when we were children, were enslaved to the elementary principles of the world.  But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law,  to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.  And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. Galatians 3:29-4:7

Heir is defined here as a sharer by lot or inheriter; by implication, a possessor. We now inherit all of God’s Kingdom, no longer bound by slavery to the world. Knowing you are now dead to sin and not required to do good works to earn God’s favor and that you now have Christ living inside of you, sharing His life and all of God’s Kingdom with you, how could your life not reflect this?

Living by Faith

Lastly, we need to understand how our life reflects this.

The life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20c

We all live by faith every day. When you get in your car, you have faith it will start and will work properly as you drive to the store. Or when you go eat at a restaurant, you have faith you won’t end up with food poisoning. But what are we putting our faith in during our day to day activities? That’s what makes the difference. We must choose who are we living this life for, and that He is worth putting our faith in.

For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died;  and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15

Living by faith in the Son of God is not only believing God is who He says He is. But also, believing I am who God says I am. Neil Anderson in his book Victory over the Darkness says, “Faith in God fails only when people have a faulty understanding of Him.” The only way we can know God is by spending time with Him. Knowing Him is a direct result of abiding in Him through His Word, spending time with Him in prayer and reflection, and taking steps of faith when He leads. This kind of abiding and faith is only accomplished through the Holy Spirit.

The Power Source – The Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit is the key here. It is only out of the Holy Spirit’s leading, strength, and faith that we are able to do anything worthy of God. The Holy Spirit is how Christ lives in us and is always available. When we stop striving out of our own strength and flesh and start resting and abiding in the Holy Spirit, God is glorified and we find true peace and satisfaction. He doesn’t want us to live life alone. He has given us His Spirit to live inside of us. How would that change your viewpoint on every day? If you were always consciously aware of God living inside of you.

You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you. Romans 8:9-11

And when we are aware and make every effort to seek Him in every decision, it takes the pressure off of us. It is no longer about our performance, it’s all about God’s glory.

When my husband and I were preparing to begin our journey towards missions, we encountered trials. My husband got very sick and had to quit his job. I found out I was pregnant unexpectedly. I felt like we should just give up on missions and just try to make it day to day. But my husband had great faith he would be healed and we would get to still go serve the Lord. So he prayed, and we prayed. I struggled to believe it would ever get any better as things seemed to get worse and worse. But Kevin never stopped believing. He had to hold onto the hope of Christ that lived in him. Eventually, Kevin started slowly getting better. And better and better. And then it was time for the baby to be born. So we prepared to go to our training school with a new baby and the chance that Kevin could get sick like that all over again. I had many doubts, but I borrowed some of Kevin’s faith. We got the house ready to sell, and within a day we had a full asking price offer. We got the car ready to sell and within two days of listing it, it was sold. Many other things fell perfectly into place during that time too. I know it was a way God was confirming in both Kevin and I’s hearts that this was the right path. If it wasn’t for Kevin’s faith and hope in the Lord, relying on the Holy Spirit and trusting in God’s promises though, we wouldn’t have gone. I was inspired by him during that time, and I praise God every day for bringing us out of that pit and bringing us into a place of service to Him. Having faith in God isn’t always easy. Most of the time it’s not. But with the Holy Spirit’s help and the decision to trust, it is always fruitful.

Finding Hope in Who We Are

Through understanding what we’ve died to, who we are now, and how our life reflects this new creation, we can break the cycle of pain, disappointment, and exhaustion. We can have hope again. The striving can cease. The grace of God can prevail. We can finally rest in the confidence of being a chosen daughter of God purely for His joy and pleasure and not because of anything we did or could do. But I don’t think this change of living a freed life will happen instantly. The worries and fears of this world will still try to choke us and burden us again under this yoke of slavery. Satan will continue to throw his fiery darts so we forget the goodness of God and give into our fleshly responses and desires. But as we discover more about who God is and who He says we are now, the easier it becomes to live out of faith that it is actually true. The more we rest in and rely on the Holy Spirit, the more our actions become less about us proving ourselves and more about us desiring to glorify God above all else.

When I was growing up I had a dog named PB that thought she was a cat. You see, my uncle’s mom had picked her up off the side of the road where she had been abandoned when she was only a few days old. She took her home and began to care for her. But the only other pets she had inside the house were a lot of cats. So PB grew up learning how to be a cat. She would give herself baths by licking her paws then her ears. She would try to purr. She would sit aloof and not play or do any normal dog like things. When my uncle’s mom died, we took PB in. We didn’t have any cats or other dogs, just her. But we treated her like a dog, even though she acted like a cat. We encouraged her to play, gave her dog treats, and taught her to walk on a leash. Eventually over time, all the cat like tendencies in her were gone and she was just a regular dog that loved to play, dig, and bark.

As we abide in the Holy Spirit and allow Him to speak who we truly are over us, we will begin to believe it. When we begin to believe it, our minds will begin to change. Then our actions will follow. No longer will we feel compelled to be the perfect mom/wife/sister/Christian. But we will be content in our identities as daughters of Christ and will joyfully serve Him. So I urge you mommas, take time to know and trust Him. It is only there your satisfaction lies.

In this post, I talk about some of the resources that have helped my husband and I find our true identities in Christ. And here you can grab your free identity in Christ list printable.

What lies have you been believing about who you are?

The post Living A New Identity: Discover your Identity in Christ first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

Satan – the Great Deceiver

Undoubtedly Satan, who wants us to believe that we don’t need God and we can just make it on our own. Sure, we can make it on our own – a life filled with fear, doubt, pain, low self-esteem, anger, selfishness, and pride. And if we can’t quite make it on our own, then we will put stock into other imperfect beings to make our lives the way we want them to be. When they can’t, the cycle of fear, doubt, pain, low self-esteem, anger, selfishness, and pride strikes again. This is the kind of life Satan desires for us to live – not just unbelievers, but believers as well. We’re not battling against other people, against flesh and blood. We’re battling spiritual forces that drive people’s behaviors, actions, and often times our responses.

Until we realize what we’re truly fighting, we’re going to keep losing. We’re going to keep erecting walls, keeping us distant from not only other people but against God Himself. We’re going to keep relying on man and justifying to ourselves why we’re right and they’re wrong. And we’re going to keep blaming. We’re going to keep blaming people, but more importantly and heartbreakingly we’re going to keep blaming God.

The American Dream Isn’t so Dreamy

Our culture (including Christian culture) is driven by self-reliance and making your own “American dream” come true. You can have it all! With a mound full of debt, working endlessly and tirelessly, striving for an advancement in a career so that we can get more and more unsatisfaction from things. The hole we’re digging for ourselves, deeper and deeper. It gets to a point where we can barely peek our head out anymore, we can barely see the light.
But the light is where healing comes. It’s where freedom exists. It’s where miracles happen. It’s where we receive forgiveness of sin and forgive those who hurt us. It’s where we can rely on something much bigger than man and therefore are freed from the cycle of emptiness, loneliness, and unsatisfaction.

Practical Application

It makes me wonder what a life like this really looks like and how it is achieved. I think it’s a daily, actually minute by minute, decision to surrender yourself to God and His plans. It’s seeking Him first, instead of last out of desperation. It’s trusting His plans for your life even on the hardest days. It’s taking your pain to Him first and spending time alone with Him in His Word and in prayer before even seeking the help of others. It’s believing His Word – that He is the God of the Old Testament, New Testament, and today. A God that never changes, that loves radically, and that still performs miracles. A God that extends His grace to us and all we have to do is surrender and receive (even if it is a minute by the minute act).  I believe truly surrendering, humbly presenting yourself before a Mighty and Loving God, is the first step to receiving all the blessings He’s already given to us. That’s where true peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and love come from.

Created for Community

God puts people in our path for a reason. He gives us pastors, friends, spouses, neighbors, strangers, military, doctors, police to help us and be there for us. He uses them to further His Kingdom, to give us encouragement, and to just enjoy life with. He created us for community with others, but more importantly, community with Him. Not that we should solely rely on people, but that we solely rely on Him, and the people in our lives are just a joyful addition that makes life more fun and challenging at times. I think instead of praising man first, we should try praising God first. Because even if He uses man, it’s His choice. He’s the one that saves us, protects us, guides us, loves us unconditionally, and, if we trust Him, will never let us down.

The post The Greatest Thing I can Trust first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.