If I hear that word one more time…

MOM!

It was dinner time on a Thursday evening. My husband was sick in bed with a migraine. I had to wake up my youngest from his nap because his schedule was all messed up from a doctor’s appointment that morning, and he was not happy about it. And my oldest was yelling “Mom!” every two seconds. The latest was because he had gotten juice from his grape on his hand. Really?! Juice from a grape is just THAT serious?!

I know you feel me. We’ve all had those days/nights (wait – all the days and nights!) where you’re just not enough. Everyone needs something from you, and you just can’t take hearing that “Mom!” one.more.time.

Unconditional Love

My husband is so gracious and patient. He never loses his temper with the kids, and I’ve barely ever seen him lose his temper with anyone. I am not like him. I tend to get easily frustrated and lose my temper and speak before I’ve even had time to think about what I’m saying. Being a mom has revealed too much of my ugly sinful flesh.

But guess what? God still loves me. My husband still loves me. My children still love me. Even though I feel undeserving. Even though I know I’ll lose my temper again. Even on the hardest, darkest, most frustrating days I am loved.

There are a lot of ways to know God’s love for me is unconditional and full of grace, but one of the most treasured to me during this season is the forgiving, gracious love of my husband and children. I hate to see myself so distracted and easily frustrated, but my family has so much grace. So much I don’t deserve.

Breathe and Pray

Instead of living in a constant place of self defeat, I take a minute, breathe, and pray. Sometimes I go into a separate room and close the door and cry or scream or just breathe. Then when I’ve gathered my composer, I go apologize. First to God, then to my family members. In that moment when I see the love in my family’s eyes, I receive the precious grace and love of the Lord. He’s in all the moments, but I truly soak Him in in these sweet ones.

I’m not perfect. My kids aren’t perfect. My husband isn’t perfect. But our love covers these sins and helps us see the best in each other. That kind of love can only be from the Lord. And only reflects a portion of the unconditional gracious love the Lord has for us.

Satan wants us to live in a place of self defeat. But we can’t let him have that victory in our lives! Yes, we screw up. Yes, it’s hard most of the time. But we have unconditional, never-ending Grace that is waiting for us. We just have to stop, breathe, and receive.