28 Day Pray with your Spouse Challenge
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Are you interested in taking the intimacy in your marriage to a deeper level? Do you struggle to communicate about Spiritual things with your spouse? Have you felt less love towards your spouse lately with more fights and less time together? Do you love spending time with your spouse and want to have some targeted prayer time together? No matter where you are in your marriage, if you’re both willing, this 28 Day Pray with your Spouse Challenge is for you!
Before beginning this challenge, I encourage you to chat with your spouse if this is something that he/she would be willing to do. It would be hard to do together if one party was not willing to share or take part. If your spouse is not willing to connect with you through prayer, then you can still take these 28 days of prayers and invest them into praying for your spouse in these areas. And never give up hope if your spouse isn’t super excited in the beginning. God’s always working and moving! Keep praying and stay faithful.
Why a Pray with your Spouse Challenge?
Instead of a pray for your spouse or marriage or family challenge, this is a pray with your spouse challenge for a reason. Having dedicated prayer time every night with my husband has completely transformed my marriage, and I know it will do the same for you if you are willing to put in the work and commit to it.
There was nothing really wrong with my marriage, just the usual little annoyances or getting frustrated with each other. Distance began to come between us due to my husband’s chronic illness and having two little kids under 3. We were arguing more, spending less intimate time together, and just weren’t as joyful as I felt like marriage could be. We would pray together every now and then, but I knew it wasn’t really enough. When we took the initiative to pray together every single day, things started to change. We grew closer, had more respect and patience for each other, and became more unified in our parenting. It made me fall even more in love with my husband.
In a marriage, you are a team, and there is nothing stronger than a unified team. The way to unify your marriage and family spiritually is through prayer and spending time with the Lord together. There’s no way around it! It builds trust and intimacy with your spouse as well realigns your perspective and your focus to God and His Kingdom. You can read more of my heart about praying with your spouse here.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12:12 NIV
Tips for the Pray with your Spouse Challenge
I’m not going to tell you exactly how you should pray with your spouse through this challenge, but I will give you some tips for how I think you will get the most out of it.
Tip 1 – Set aside the same time every day to pray together.
I understand this may not be feasible for everyone especially with work schedules and children. But if at all possible try to plan to pray together the same time every day. Try to set aside 15-30 minutes every day to do this together. If you feel rushed and like you’re just trying to fit it in, you won’t get as much benefit out of it. I know sometimes it may be rushed, and God can still use that time, but for the most part try to find a time of day that works well with both you and your spouse every day. Put it on your calendar if you have to.
For my husband and I this time is after the boys go to bed and before we go to sleep. After we put the boys down, we finish up dishes/straightening up then we head to bed and pray together first before doing anything else. After we pray we like to spend time together in the evenings doing a puzzle, watching a show, or just laying together chatting. This is my favorite time of day. I love my children and the time we get to spend together as a family, but there’s something really special when I get to connect to my husband in this way.
Tip 2 – Remove all distractions.
I understand this may not be possible every day if you’re traveling or have a sick child or something, but when you can try to remove all distractions from around you when you sit down to pray together. Put away phones, laptops, gaming devices, and turn off the tv and music during this time. If it’s too much of a distraction to have your phone laying beside you during this time take it to another room. I encourage you to use your physical Bible to read the verses instead of an app on your phone. If your phone is the only option you can read the verses then put your phone away in a different room if necessary.
Tip 3 – Don’t criticize or judge.
This time is to grow closer to your spouse not to try to “fix” them and their problems. The point of spending time in prayer with your spouse is for the Lord to become the Fixer of any of the problems within your marriage or within each of you. Try to come into this with an open mind and humble heart, willing to hear and receive any direction and healing from the Lord and how He uses your spouse to speak into your heart.
In some of the days, there are harder conversations that need to be had where you are confessing things or helping reveal areas of struggle for your spouse. Please try to approach these days prayerfully and humbly. Remember that everyone struggles, and we are all covered by the same grace of Jesus’ sacrifice. These conversations may be hard and may even cause some hurt in the beginning, but bringing these things to light are the beginning of healing.
But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible
Ephesians 5:13 ESV
If criticism or judgement is a struggle for you with your spouse, I really encourage you to spend time alone in prayer before praying with your spouse. That you would have a gracious, open, and humble heart willing to hear and receive what the Holy Spirit is speaking and sharing only out of a place of love and vulnerability.
If you just don’t think you can do this without being overly critical, then I encourage you to skip that step for the day. You can still read the verse and pray some together but don’t take that time to share together until you feel like you are in a place where you can receive and give in love. This is meant to bring unity to your marriage not division. If you stick with it, as time goes by your heart will soften towards your spouse and specific things. These kinds of things aren’t quick fixes, but it will take time and dedication as the Lord works to change you and your spouse.
Tip 4 – Take Turns to Pray.
This is part of praying together. It should not all rely on one of you to do the praying. I encourage you for this challenge to each pray every night. It will take more time, but this is where you’ll start to see your relationship deepen. If you’re not comfortable praying out loud with other people, I can’t imagine another person better to practice with than your spouse! This should be a time of grace and love, encouraging one another. It should grow and stretch you individually, together, and with the Lord.
Tip 5 – Have Realistic Expectations.
Don’t expect this to be a quick fix to any kind of struggle you may be having within your marriage or family. God can work that way, but usually He does not because He is working something bigger than the current situation. I don’t want you to think that just because you pray with your spouse for 28 days everything that bothered you about your spouse will be gone, and you won’t have any problems anymore. All of us are still battling our flesh daily so there will always be some kinds of friction when dealing with people. There’s no way to escape that this side of heaven.
For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.
Matthew 18:20 NIV
But I do believe if you approach this with an open heart and mind, take it seriously, and complete it, you will find you are closer to your spouse and the Lord. You may find specific areas are completely healed. Or you may find other areas that God is now in the process of healing. But God will bless this time if you are faithful with it. You always come out changed when you enter in to the presence of the Lord. He will not let you down. Have faith in His timing and process. Every good thing takes dedication and work including marriage and your time with the Lord so don’t give up trying if things don’t get better right away.
Get the Pray with your Spouse Challenge
So are you ready to jump on this challenge?! It will take time and commitment, but I know God will bless this time spent together in His Word and presence. I pray that this challenge with not only strengthen your marriage and family but will also help you fall more in love with the Lord and strengthen your faith and trust in Him. If you participate in this challenge, I would love to hear about how it went for you – leave a comment or contact me here!
*If you do not receive an email from cathy@thismommaneedsgrace.com with the download within a few minutes, please check your spam folder. I would never send you any spam or sell your info to anyone.*
