8 Tips for Dealing with Postpartum Depression
You’ve brought your little bundle of joy home, and it should be the most blissful time of your life but all you want to do is cry, scream, and sleep. Well at least that’s what it was like for me after the birth of my second child.
I had struggled with depression on and off in my life, and although I had gotten down after the birth of my first child I was able to cope and keep moving on. But it was different this second time around. The anger, fear, and sadness was overwhelming and left me feeling as if I was drowning. If it wasn’t for my loving husband, mom and friend, I may have stayed there. But their patience and gentleness with me led me to get the help I needed. You can read a little more about my story here.
What is postpartum depression?
Postpartum depression is depression that occurs after childbirth. Some people may also call it the “baby blues”. Some women experience postpartum anxiety in addition to or instead of postpartum depression. There is a difference, and I only experienced depression so I will not be speaking to postpartum anxiety. There can be varying degrees from just a little sadness that seems to go away on it’s own to extreme cases that can lead to suicide. It is extremely important to address this issue and take care of your mental health. Especially when you have a new life to take care of!
Why does postpartum depression happen?
I am not a doctor so I can’t explain all the physical reasons perfectly for why this happens, but I know your body goes through A LOT during pregnancy, birth, and after birth. Not only has your body physically been through a lot and is trying to figure out how to heal, your hormones are going CRAZY on you as well as all sorts of processes going through changes within your body as well.
I know for me it was a lot worse with my second child. He also had colic and would cry all the time which I think contributed because I had very little sleep and had to deal with a crying baby and toddler all at once. Sometimes when my husband was at work, I would just sit in a chair with both of my boys and cry. Through my husband’s urging, I saw a doctor and started working on taking care of myself and finally started to see the light again.
8 Tips to Heal from Post Partum Depression
Tip 1: Pray and read God’s Word
The first place to always go is the feet of the Savior. Take time everyday to get that life-giving bread and water from His Word and spending time with Him. I know it’s not easy to do as a mom, but even if it’s just for a few minutes when you’re in the bathroom, it is necessary to keep you connected with the One who loves you more than any other person could and who is fighting for you always.
When I was at my lowest, I prayed and cried out to God, but I needed more help too. It’s ok if you need other help! God created doctors, friends, family, and churches for us to have community – to encourage each other and build each other up. It does not mean you are weak or not a good enough Christian when you feel like praying isn’t “fixing” everything for you. God IS with you, but He has other plans for your healing. It may be because it blesses someone to help you or it could be that you just need to get to a place of humility and brokenness to be able to receive His healing fully.
Tip 2: Listen
This was a hard one for me. It took multiple conversations from my husband and mom for me to even consider getting help. Then something happened that clicked everything into place and made me call the doctor. A friend I hadn’t talked to in a while reached out to me and when found out I was struggling called me. She told me about her struggle with depression and how important getting help was. Having someone outside of my family share her story with me and speak about how important it was to get help made me realize I really did need to get help.
Sometimes it is hard to listen to people when you’re depressed. I totally get it! It’s easy to get defensive and not want to listen. But your friends and family have the best for you in their hearts and minds when they have these difficult conversations with you. It is not easy for them to see you struggle, and they truly want what’s best for you.
Tip 3: Talk
One of the symptoms of depression is withdrawing. It’s easy to want to shrink into yourself and not want to talk to anybody about anything. But this is probably the worst thing you can do. Being open and honest about your struggles is critically important. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable! A lot of times opening up is the first step to healing.
Sometimes all you need is to talk to your husband or mom, but sometimes you may need more professional help. It could be a pastor, social worker, counselor, or a mentor. That’s for you to decide, but there is no shame in seeking professional help through counseling. I have seen multiple counselors, and finding the right Christian counselor can help gently guide you back into health with the use of God’s Word and prayer.
Tip 4: See a doctor
Depending on how severe your depression is, you may need to see a doctor. I would err on the side of caution and say telling your doctor any struggle is a great step. They can then help you navigate whether medicine would be the right fit for you. Sometimes you don’t even need a prescription medication. There are lots of supplements now that could help ease anxiety or depression, but it’s best to always talk with your doctor first!
I had a hard time wanting to tell my doctor. I felt like they would see me failing as a mom. But that couldn’t be a bigger lie! My doctor was so kind and compassionate about the whole thing. I am so grateful for him. If you feel unheard by your doctor, then find someone else! There are tons of great doctors out there that will listen and really want to do what’s best for you.
Tip 5: Eat Healthy
Some people lose their appetites when they’re depressed while others want to eat everything. I was the latter, of course! And I didn’t want to eat anything healthy. All I wanted was junk. But when you’re down the most important thing you can do is fuel your body well. Feed it with whole, healthy foods and try to stay away from the processed stuff. A treat is of course ok, but try to get the bulk of your food from real food so that you are getting all the good stuff your body needs to heal.
To help you do this while you’re depressed, you may need to get some accountability from your husband or friend. Maybe you can get a healthy meal delivery service if you don’t feel like cooking. Or on good days you can do a bunch of meal prep so you have some healthy options on the bad days. There are usually healthy options when ordering out these days too. Whatever it takes to fuel your body well!
Tip 6: Exercise
The last thing I want to do when I’m depressed is exercise. But moving your body can do so much good. Getting blood moving and releasing endorphins will help your mood exponentially! The key is doing something that you like to do so that you will get out and do it. You’re already down and are not going to want to try to force yourself to do something that you hate doing.
For me, it’s running and pilates. But I started out very slow with just walking until I started to feel better and slow progressed back up to running. Pilates is also amazing at making you feel good! I highly recommend trying it if you’re not sure what would help. My most favorite videos are from Robin Long of the Balanced Life. She is so calm and encouraging emphasizing that it’s about grace over guilt. I am a member of the Sisterhood and strongly recommend it, but she has plenty of free videos and resources too.
Find what helps you – whether it’s walking, lifting weights, or Crossfit. Everyone is different and everyone’s body is different so listen to what you need.
Tip 7: Get outside
God created the earth so of course He uses it to help heal us! Getting outside in some sunshine every day is so good for your body in many ways. Again, I’m definitely not an expert on the subject, but I found this article from Healthline that describes all the benefits well. Basically it releases feel good hormones and gives us vitamin D among other things.
Another thing I’ve found to help me is grounding – or having direct skin contact with the earth. So like walking or standing barefoot in the grass or if you’re lucky and at the beach then in the sand. There isn’t extensive research into grounding, but from what I’ve read it can reduce inflammation in your body and help you feel better in a variety of ways. Here’s another Healthine article that talks about grounding.
Tip 8: Sleep! (when you can)
I know, I know. This seems impossible with a newborn (or even a 2 year old!). But sleep is SO important!!! Make sure you talk to your partner about how he can help you get the sleep you need. I know “they” say to sleep when the baby sleeps. But I always found a long list of things I had to do when the baby slept so it never really seemed to happen for me. Also, my husband has chronic health problems that flair up when he doesn’t get enough sleep so I always felt bad for asking for his help. But I had to realize my health is important too, and we were able to work out ways I could get some extra ZZZ’s.
Sometimes it really is just saying no to the dishes, laundry, and dirty house and just taking a 20 minute nap while the baby naps. There’s no need to beat yourself up about things not getting done around the house. You are doing a great job momma! And taking care of yourself is more important than a dirty house. Your baby needs a healthy and happy mom before she needs everything to be spotless.
Conclusion
Postpartum depression is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. Your mental health is so important because if you’re not healthy you can’t be the mom and wife your family needs and deserves. So stay in the Word, talk about your struggles, and seek help when you need it. You’ve got this momma! You’re doing an awesome job, and we all want to see you be your best you for your family.
Have you ever struggled with postpartum depression? If so, what was something that helped you?
