The feeling that you are not enough or doing enough for your children (or husband). That if only you could “get it together”, life would be easier and more pleasant.

This often comes from comparing yourself to other moms based on outward appearance, their well behaved children, or from not living up to your own expectations of what a mother should be. It can be a dangerous place to let your mind wander or stay and can lead to depression, anxiety, fear, and not parenting fully from the truth of the Word and the Holy Spirit that God has gifted you as your guide and counselor. It is a sneaky tactic of the enemy to keep us from relying on God, beating ourselves up as never being enough, and not getting to experience the joy of our families.

How can the lies of mom guilt be stopped before they go too far?

3 Necessary Steps to Identifying and Combating Mom Guilt

1 – Realize You are Not Enough

You, in your own strength and flesh, are not enough. You and your spouse together are not enough. You will never know all of the answers or how to parent perfectly. But this does not mean you are without hope or should just give up.

Instead of figuring it out on your own or with Google or Instagram, turn to the One who DOES know it all and DOES have all the answers.

When we can get to a place of recognizing our need for a Savior in ALL aspects of life,

we will find freedom of the burden of mom guilt.

Guilt is not something we are meant to carry when we are in Christ. If your burdens feel heavy, then you are likely carrying something you should not be carrying. Jesus said when we turn to Him and rely on Him, our burdens will be easy and our yokes light (Matthew 11:29-30).

So how does that actually happen? Can we really live a life with easy burdens and light yokes? Does this mean everything will work out perfectly?

2 – Live out of Your Identity in Christ

Absolutely not! And absolutely at the same time!! It all comes down to perspective. Maybe in your perspective nothing is perfect and the heavy burdens will never stop. But when we rely on the Lord and ask Him to help us, He can help change our perspective not only on our circumstances around us but who we are and how we approach issues as they come up.

The most freeing part of the Gospel that I think gets overlooked too often is who we now are in Christ. It is easy as a believer to spend an abundance of time focusing on your sin, especially as a mom!

But God didn’t redeem us to spend the entirety of our lives sulking in our sin and worrying we’re always screwing up.

God gave us new life in Him to have NEW LIFE – free of condemnation, guilt, and shame (Romans 8:1-2). He wants us to live freely from our identity in what Christ accomplished and wants us to show our number one opportunities to share the Gospel with – our children – what a life looks like when they believe.

I want to clarify that when we screw up, it is still important to confess your sin and repent before the Lord. This not only restores any distance you have placed between you and Him but also keeps us humble of who He is – a righteous, sovereign God – and who we are – saints ONLY through the sacrifice of Jesus. It keeps us in a place of praise and worship before the most worthy King.

It’s important to note that the point of God giving us new life and identity in Christ is for HIS glory not for us to look or feel good.

If you truly start to understand all that was accomplished through Christ’s sacrifice, it will bring you to your knees in worship, give you a desire to seek to live a holy life, and will convict you of your sins and lead you to repentance. You will realize how unworthy you are and how worthy God is. You will clearly see how undeserving you are of this precious gift and gratitude will flow from your life. Through all of this, your perspective will begin to change. It will stop being just about you and your comfortable life and more about God’s glory being shown and His will being accomplished. You will start to see things from the broader perspective of eternity instead which will change everything. You can find additional resources and more information on identity in Christ in these books.

3 – Trust God’s Grace is Enough

As we continue to walk in the flesh on this side of heaven, we will never do it all perfectly. That’s where God’s perfect grace continues to shine through every single day. In our weakness He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). In our failures He is sovereign, gracious, and good (Colossians 1:16-17, Romans 8:28).

Realizing that God loves your children more than you do, has good plans for them, and never gives up pursuing them can be a very freeing experience.

Of course, we should strive to parent well out of the Spirit’s leading and the truth of the Bible. But we will mess up. Maybe every now and then or maybe every day (that’s me).

But when you do mess up it does NOT mean you are ruining your kids’ lives or their chances for becoming believers. God’s bigger than our mistakes. He does not give up on you or your children. He will faithfully continue to pursue and love unconditionally because He cares more about you and your children’s hearts and souls than about temporary circumstances or you doing it all perfectly.

His will is not reliant on you and me. It is reliant on Him alone. While He allows us to be a part of His kingdom work, we also can’t screw it up. He will accomplish what He has set out to do one way or another. There is freedom coming to this place – accepting God’s unconditional love and grace and trusting that we can’t mess up His will.

As long as we’re seeking Him and spending time with Him, our desire will be to please Him, and He will start aligning our hearts with His.

Due to the battle that exists within our own flesh and the enemy that currently rules this earth, we will never do it perfectly. This is where we can lean into trusting His promises that what He begins He will bring to completion (Philippians 1:6). One way or another, His will will be accomplished.

We can trust Him. His love for us far exceeds what we could even imagine (Ephesians 3:19). So instead of sitting in guilt or shame for every screw up, come humbly before the Lord and receive the forgiveness He already laid out on the cross. You can trust from that place, He will meet you and surround you with His peace, love, grace, and reassurance that He is in control.

10 Bible Verses to Combat Mom Guilt

Meditate on these verses during your day to remind yourself of the redemption, grace, and sovereignty of the Lord.

“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,  may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”

Ephesians 3:14-21 NIV

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”

Galatians 5:1 ESV

“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him.”

2 Corinthians 5:17-18 NLT

“For we are the circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh—”

Philippians 3:3 ESV

“We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.”

Romans 6:4 NIV

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Romans 15:13 NLT

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.”

Psalm 139:14-16 ESV

Psalm 145:8-9 NIV

“for through him God created everything
    in the heavenly realms and on earth.
He made the things we can see
    and the things we can’t see—
such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world.
    Everything was created through him and for him.
 He existed before anything else,
    and he holds all creation together.”

Colossians 1:16-17 NLT

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Jesus, Matthew 11:28-30 ESV

Grab a free printable of the verses so you can always have them on hand!

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The post The Most Effective Way to Combat Mom Guilt first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

God is faithful all the time and always gives us what we need when we need it. We actually have everything we need for faith and godliness through His Spirit that lives within us (2 Peter 1:3). We don’t have to spend our time begging God for things that are already ours. We just have to believe and receive these things. Spending time praising God instead of asking Him for things will realign your heart and mind to the Lord’s will and desire for your life as well as His unconditional love for you and faithfulness to you.

Why is it important to praise God?

Praising God puts Him back into His proper place in our lives – as King, Lord, and Mighty God. Although He is also our loving Father who loves to hear our requests, He is not there to just answer everything we ask the way we want. He is sovereign, good, and in control of every situation. Acknowledging that by praising Him puts your requests to Him in their proper place and reminds you that no matter what happens in those situations He is still good.

Praise is a chance to thank God for all that He’s done in your life. The more you praise Him, the more you’ll realize how much He’s done for you and continues to do for you. It helps refocus your mind on the Lord instead of your current circumstances. This will end up changing your perspective on how you see and encounter the world every day.

We see over and over again in the Bible where it emphasizes praise. Although the Bible does mention the importance of prayer and presenting your requests to God, it speaks even more about praising God in every circumstance.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:4-7

This doesn’t say “praise God when you feel like or when things are going your way.” It says “Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS”! And as we see as we read on, the reward for praying with thanksgiving in all things is peace that surpasses all understanding and guards our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Peace, a guarded mind, intimacy with the Lord, a changed perspective, and joy are all byproducts of praise. It can change your entire life. You can read more about how praise can change your perspective on everything here.

Why is it easier to make requests than praise?

But we know this idea to praise God doesn’t always come easily. It never has. It is an area satan loves to attack because he is the one that wants praise. That’s why he was cast out of heaven to begin with. He thought was he was something very special and beautiful, and that he deserved the glory and honor that belonged to God only (Ezekiel 28:11-19).

Try to remember that satan does not like it when you praise God. He will do what he can to try to redirect your thoughts and fill your head with lies. Often times when something we are walking through is difficult, we begin to believe that God is not good. This is to satan’s delight. He wants us to doubt God’s goodness in even the smallest things so that we will start doubting God in the biggest things.

Being aware that this is an area satan wants victory in your life can help you combat it effectively by consciously choosing to not entertain these lies. You can stop the lies in their tracks by doing exactly what satan doesn’t want you to do – praising God in every situation.

Examples of Prayers to Praise God in the Bible

In the Bible you will see examples of people going through hard or tempting times and choosing not to praise or seek God. There is always unhappiness and things continue to get worse for them, and God uses discipline and tries to draw them back to Himself. Sometimes the person will return to the Lord, and He always receives them with open and willing arms because first and foremost He loves and wants the best for all of us. But if the person does not repent, he will never experience God’s true peace and love that He has available to him.

But we also see some examples of people in the Bible who are in challenging times and choose to praise God. And although things may not immediately get better, they get to experience God’s love and peace during the challenging time. And they can continue to trust in the goodness in God because they know He is working out all things for their good and His glory (Romans 8:28).

Job

The book of Job is full of temptation and difficult circumstances as God allows satan control over all Job has. He takes all his land and livestock, and he kills his children. Job’s response was one of grief but also praise:

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” – Job 1:21

Satan doesn’t stop there. He then curses him with sickness, and even his wife encourages Job to curse God but he does not. His friends come and try to tempt him to doubt God or come to repentance before God, but Job continued to stand strong that God was good and that he had not done anything against the Lord.

Through it all, Job may have questioned God as to why all of this was happening, but He never doubted God’s goodness. And at the end, God expressed his anger against his three friends that they not only doubted Him but they were encouraging Job to doubt and curse Him. But God praised Job for his faithfulness to Him and trust in Him.

Job 42:10 says, “And the Lord restored the fortunes of Job, when he had prayed for his friends. And the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before.” Job’s faithfulness and praise to the Lord resulted in not only His endurance during the hardship but something better at the end of it all. We can trust God in even the hardest situations to be working things for good.

Mary, mother of Jesus

As a woman and mother, it is easy for me to identify how difficult it would have been for Mary to walk in the shame of a teenage, unplanned pregnancy without your fiance. But Mary did not hesitate to accept the Lord’s will when the angel who came to her and told her what was to happen. She said in Luke 1:38:

“Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.”

I’m sure she must have been terrified and maybe even full of doubt and confusion as to what was happening. So she went to visit her cousin Elizabeth for comfort and confirmation. When she walked in and Elizabeth confirmed what the angel had already told her, she exclaimed in praise to the Lord:

“My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name.” – Luke 1:47-49

Praising God didn’t change the situation. She was still going to have to walk through a lonely and shameful life of premarital pregnancy. But she praised God and kept her eyes on Him because she knew the result was going to be worth it. I know we don’t always get angels directly delivering us news, but we can trust that God is still one who loves and works things out for our good.

Steps to turn your Requests to Prayers to Praise God

1 – Change Your Mindset

Instead of looking at things as what needs to change, try to see what God is doing in and through them. Praying for the Holy Spirit to reveal the good in even the worst situations can help you see things differently. It can be a simple thing to change the way you pray from asking to praising. Instead of “God please help me” make it “God thank you for.”

2 – Ask the Holy Spirit to Direct Your Prayers

The Holy Spirit is God living inside of us. He knows what needs to happen in every circumstance. Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom and guidance when praying for a situation. And if you don’t know what to pray, the Holy Spirit is directly interceding on behalf of us (Romans 8:26-27).

3 – Stay in the Word

God’s Word is full of His promises. Instead of looking at and focusing on your problems, look at God’s Word and see all that He has done for you. The more you’re in the Word, the more you will be reminded of God’s goodness and sovereignty. Time and time again we see situations in the Bible that seem bad at the moment, but God is using for good. If you keep reading these truths, you will start believing they are true for you too.

4 – Remember What God has Already Done

Look back and see God’s faithfulness in your life. You can look at difficult situations from your past and see how God came through and brought good out of the bad. No one can take away your testimony of God’s goodness in your own life. Remind yourself of it often, and you will see God hasn’t forgotten or given you up on you now.

5 – Write out Your Prayers

A good way to really organize your thoughts and help focus your prayer life is by writing down your prayers. You don’t have to do it all the time, but every now and then it can be really good at focusing your prayers into praises. Another great way to remember God’s goodness is to at least keep an ongoing list of prayers and answers. Write down your request and when you see the answer write it next to the request. You will really start to see how God is working and moving in your life through this.

Example Requests turned to Prayers to Praise God

So let’s look a couple of practical examples on how you can turn your simple everyday requests into prayers to praise God.

1 – When praying for self-control

As a request: “God, please help me not eat that piece of chocolate cake.”

As a praise: “God, thank you for giving me self-control to not eat the chocolate cake because you know it is not best for me.”

2 – When praying for sickness

As a request: “God, please take away my pain and heal me.”

As a praise: “God, thank you for all the healing you have done throughout my life. I praise you for taking care of me and always knowing what is best. Thank you that you will continue to use healing in my life.”

3 – When praying for forgiveness from being hurt by a person

As a request: “God, please help me forgive Cathy for talking bad about me behind my back.”

As a praise: “God, thank you for your forgiveness that you shower on me and that flows out of me and into others. Thank you that you give me the ability to forgive so that a root of bitterness does not take hold in my heart. Thank you that you give me all I need to fight the spiritual battles that rage around me because I know I am not fighting flesh and blood but spiritual forces of darkness.”

4 – When praying for God’s will in a certain situation

As a request: “God, please reveal your will to me so that I don’t miss out on what you want me to do in this situation.”

As a praise: “God, thank you that you have given me the mind of Christ. Thank you for your Holy Spirit that lives inside me and directs my steps. Thank you that no matter what decision I make, you are with me, never leaving me.”

5 – When praying for your kids to behave

As a request: “God, please help my kids listen to me and learn how to do what is right.”

As a praise: “God, thank you for giving me the gift of my children. Thank you that you love them more than I do and are working in their hearts and lives even now. Thank you that you give me patience, grace, and wise discipline through your Holy Spirit.”

Do you see the difference? You can take any simple request and turn it into a phrase of praise. This changes your attitude in any situation and always keeps God as Lord and the one who truly is in control.

What I like to do when I pray is start every request with a praise. I praise then ask for things. Then when I do request things, I ask in a simpler more submissive way trusting that God is truly good and sovereign over every situation.

How do you keep your mind focused on the goodness of God?

The post How to Turn Your Requests to Prayers to Praise God first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

It wasn’t until I started to learn about who God was, and His incredible love for me that I started to understand that there was more to this Christian life than I thought possible. I wasn’t “serving” a harsh Father, but I was adopted into a new spiritual family that not only showered me with grace and love but allowed me to have my inheritance now! If identity in Christ is a new concept for you, I encourage you to read this post or look at these resources for more information.

What are declarations about identity in Christ?

A declaration is defined as a formal or explicit statement or announcement. A declaration about identity in Christ is a truth about who you are in Christ that you are declaring over yourself and other believers. It is something you can do alone or with a group. It is speaking a truth out loud whether you believe it in the moment or not.

The Bible is full of declarations of who you are as a believer. It is also full of declarations about who God is. Learning both of these truths will transform your Christian walk from shame to joy and guilt to freedom. You can’t fully believe who you are in Christ until you start believing God is who He says He is.

Why do we need to do declarations?

Declarations are an important exercise to do as believers, especially speaking them out loud. It releases light and truth into the atmosphere that we walk in. It reminds us who we are in Christ and the victory we have to live in. It helps retrain our thinking to stand on the truth and not believe the lies of the enemy.

It takes time to retrain our thoughts to believe some of these truths from the identity in Christ list. It goes against maybe what you were taught to believe growing up or what you’ve seen and experienced from other believers. It goes against what the enemy is trying to get you to believe about yourself. So it is important to regularly speak these truths over yourself over and over again until you believe they are true. And then some more to speak it out so the enemy knows you believe they are true. Once you start believing and living these truths, you will experience more freedom and joy than you ever thought possible!!

Your Identity in Christ List

The following identity in Christ list will help point you to who you are now that you are a believer. Each truth is back up by Scripture. You can print out the printable list or write out your own copy to have these truths handy every day. Keep them close and read them often and see how God begins transforming your mind and life!

1. I am a new creation. 2 Corinthians 5:17
2. I am a child of God. John 1:12
3. I am a co-heir in Christ’s inheritance. Romans 8:17, Galatians 4:6-7
4. I am a citizen of heaven and seated there right now. Philippians 3:20, Ephesians 2:6
5. I am dearly and unconditionally loved. Romans 8:38-39
6. I am the salt and light of the world. Matthew 5:13-14
7. God will provide for all of my needs. Matthew 6:25-33
8. I am forgiven and free from the guilt of sin. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19, Colossians 2:13-15, Hebrews 9:26
9. I am a saint. Hebrews 10:10, Ephesians 1:1
10. I am a temple of the Holy Spirit. 1 Corinthians 3:16, 6:19-20
11. I am a stranger in this world. 1 Peter 2:11
12. The enemy cannot hurt me. 1 John 5:18
13. I am righteous and holy. 2 Corinthians 5:21, Ephesians 4:24
14. I am hidden in God with Christ. Colossians 3:3
15. I am a member of Christ’s body with specific gifts and purposes. Ephesians 2:10, 1 Corinthians 12:4-11
16. I was knit together in my mother’s womb for specific Kingdom purposes. Psalm 139:13-16
17. I walk in victory. 1 John 5:4
18. I am chosen. John 15:16, Colossians 3:12, 1 Thessalonians 1:4, 1 Peter 2:9-10
19. I have everything I need for life and godliness. 2 Peter 1:3-4
20. I am part of God’s family. Ephesians 2:19
21. I am a daughter/son of light and darkness cannot overtake me. 1 Thessalonians 5:5
22. I am an enemy of the devil. 1 Peter 5:8
23. I have purpose while I am still on earth, and God does not waste a day of my life. Psalm 139:16, Psalm 138:8, Philippians 1:6
24. God is working all things for my good and His glory. Romans 8:28
25. I do not battle flesh and blood but evil forces of darkness and are equipped to fight and win the battle. Ephesians 6:10-18
26. I am Christ’s friend. John 15:15
27. I have a heavenly calling. Hebrews 3:1
28. I share Christ’s life. Hebrews 3:14
29. I am a living stone used to build a spiritual house. 1 Peter 2:4-5
30. I have the mind of Christ and reflect Him. 1 John 3:2, 1 Corinthians 2:16

How to use your Identity in Christ List

Take this copy of the list or make your own copy or notecards to keep around your house. Keep it in places that you will see it often. I recommend reading it out loud when you wake up every day as a way to set your mind right first thing. Also when you are struggling with believing something, maybe even a specific truth from this list, have it handy to read out loud the truths to fight the lie and struggle in the moment. It would also be good to read the Scriptures out loud when you are struggling in any specific area.

This may seem tedious and repetitive, but that is how retraining your brain works. It takes time and persistence. Lies that you have believed since childhood or that are deeply ingrained from a traumatic experience will take time to rewire to these truths. But the more you do it, the easier it becomes – not to just read them out loud but to actually start believing them. It may be good to tackle some of the ones that are hard for you to believe one at a time, conquering one truth before moving onto another.

God will use this practice to bring freedom, joy, and new life to you. He is faithful and good wanting you to not just live but thrive in your life in Him. He loves you more than you could ever understand and wants you to live in this free gift of grace and mercy He’s given you. Prayerfully seek Him on these things and cling to Him when you doubt or worry. He will bring healing and restoration to your life through His sacrifice.

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Tip #1 – Keep your Bible Handy

For me, it’s in the living room. I often find myself reading when the boys are watching a tv show in the morning. I have a routine where I get my husband’s breakfast, coffee, and lunch ready then sit and read my Bible and pray while the boys watch some morning TV. You may not be a fan of your kids watching TV, which I think is amazing!! I wish I had the patience to not need the distraction of TV to keep me sane and the boys occupied. If you are one of those awesome ones that don’t do TV, find some other activity in the mornings to keep your kids occupied. Depending on their age, it could be quiet reading time, coloring sheets, board games, playdoh, or crafts (that don’t need your help).

Whenever and wherever you decide would be the best place to do it, keep a Bible, journal, and pen there. Maybe there are a couple of rooms you’ll bounce between. Have a Bible, journal, and pen in each place. That way the resource is always there. It can also help serve as a reminder when you put it in a place you are often. Sometimes you may need to carry it around with you. Sometimes I’ll take my Bible into the kitchen while I’m getting the boys’ breakfast ready. It may not be the quietest or most ideal situation, but I am getting the Living Bread and Water so I can move forward in my day. Whatever it looks like for you, trust that ANY time you spend in God’s Word is not wasted. So even if you only get 5 minutes, it is the most worthwhile 5 minutes you’ll spend that day.

Another note – I love studying in a Study Bible. It has commentary and notes about connected verses you can look up that drives your study even deeper. My two favorite study Bibles I’ve ever had are the Quest Study Bible and Scofield Study Bible.

Tip #2 – Aim for a time but have flexibility

I like to do mine first thing in the morning (after getting the hubby off to work). I made a decision that I was going to have my quiet time before I did anything else (like get on my computer/phone/social media). Most days this happens, but (especially with kids) not every day will go as planned. Give yourself some GRACE on these days. It’s OK, if it didn’t get done right on time or by a certain schedule. Try to find time to fit it in as the day goes on. Like I said previously even 5 minutes is worth it. Maybe it’s giving up 5 minutes on Facebook while the kids nap or at school or maybe you don’t get to it until you’re about to go to sleep. It doesn’t really matter when you do it, it just matters that you are showing up and spending time with your Maker.

Tip #3 – Have accountability

This is one I’m not great about because I don’t like having accountability. Let’s be honest, how many people really love accountability?! I like to freedom to skip things and not feel guilty about it. I do say enter into this one cautiously if you are like me. The purpose of spending time with the Lord is for yours and His relationship to deepen and grow. For Him to continue to shape you to become more like Him. It is not something you should do because you feel like you “have to” or are “expected to”. If you aren’t doing it for the right reasons you probably will not get much out of it. But if you come willingly and humbly expecting to hear from the Lord, every second will be worth it.

I think if you are going to get accountability through a friend, mentor, or spouse, make sure to ask someone who will not make you feel bad if you miss a day or have a bad week. That’s not the purpose of it. It should be someone who is excited for you and what you’re learning. Someone who encourages you to get into the Word for the benefits it will provide you. Someone who will extend grace in the rough times and pray and encourage you in your current circumstances. If you are going to seek out accountability, keep these things in mind when selecting someone. It should be an encouraging source of community not a condemning source of legalism. Why does it work / why is it important? and how do you do it properly?

Tip #4 – Share with others when you get interrupted

We all know too often that when you have a family as soon as you sit down to do something, it will get interrupted. Instead of getting frustrated and losing it, try talking to your kids (or spouse) about what you are reading about. Share what God is teaching you. Then it will turn into a teaching experience for you, which help you understand on an even deeper level, and a learning experience for your kids (or spouse). We all could use more of God’s Word so it is a win-win.

Tip #5 – Journal

I love journaling. I wish I had more time to devote to it. Getting everything out on paper helps me to retain and grow even deeper in understanding. That’s one reason why I love to blog. Writing things out can bring healing, hope, restoration, understanding, and clarity. It can take those jumbled up thoughts in your head and make them finally make sense. When I journal during my quiet time, I like to write out the scripture I’m reading, any things that stand out to me, thoughts I have about the scripture, ways I think it could be applied to my every day, and prayers and praises. That is a lot! But it helps to keep it organized into blocks if you’re a more organized person. If you are more free-flowing then just start writing and you’d be amazed at what God says to you during that time!

Grab a beautiful journal like this Keepsake Journal for an even more in depth Bible study experience.

Tip #6 – Pray and meditate all day

This is one reason why I like to read in the morning. I find myself thinking back to what I read all day. This is great to keep your mind focused on the Word and how God is teaching you through it. Sometimes I only have 5 minutes to read in the morning, but by the end of the day I’ve thought on what I read most of the day and can have a significant deeper understanding. It’s really amazing to see how God can use a few minutes to help redirect your thoughts all day.

Sticky Notes!! Write down key verses or thoughts you had during your quiet time then place them around your house. At the kitchen sink, on the bathroom mirror, or a table you sit by a lot. This will keep you thinking of things, and is also great at helping you passively memorize Scripture! I had a Bible verse in the center console of my car for years, and I still have that Scripture memorized even though I’ve had a new car for 6 years now. If you’re into all things cute, here’s some of my favorite sticky notes.

Prayer is another important aspect to spending time in the Word. It’s when you can directly talk to the Lord about everything going on. I find I have the best days when I am constantly praying throughout the day. I never do it perfectly, but if I can take the time to stop and pray instead of responding out of frustrating to the kids, I am a much nicer mommy. It also helps if I continually pray about what I read that morning, asking God to reveal what it means and how I can apply it to my life. Learning how to talk to God as you go through your day will bring you more intimacy with Him which results in more peace, patience, compassion, and love.

Tip #7 – Follow a Plan

Lately I have been enjoying reading through books of the Bible. I started in Matthew and read 1-2 full chapters a day. Then depending on the day, I can either meditate and journal in the moment or I have to meditate on it as the day goes on. Some people love this approach. You can do it with any part of the Bible. I will be honest that I have tried many “reading through the Bible” plans, and it’s just not for me. I get lost in the Old Testament and end up giving up. I think if you can follow one of those plans straight through you are amazing!! I prefer to have smaller bite size pieces so I don’t feel so overwhelmed. So I usually just stick with a book at a time.

I am also a huge fan of devotionals! But I think when you’re having quiet time the bulk of learning will come directly from God’s Word. So if I have a devotional that only has a verse or two in it, I will take it a step further and read the whole chapter that verse is in. Some of my favorite devotionals are 31 Days of Praise, and 100 Days of Joy and Strength (who doesn’t love Candance Cameron Bure?!). If you’re looking for a new devotional and not sure what you’d like, read the reviews! Use Amazon, Lifeway, or Dayspring to look at what others say about it. I always like to read the best and the worst reviews and prayerfully decide from that.

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The post 7 Tips to Stay Consistent in God’s Word for Busy Moms (plus 5 free Bible reading plans) first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

I had struggled with depression on and off in my life, and although I had gotten down after the birth of my first child I was able to cope and keep moving on. But it was different this second time around. The anger, fear, and sadness was overwhelming and left me feeling as if I was drowning. If it wasn’t for my loving husband, mom and friend, I may have stayed there. But their patience and gentleness with me led me to get the help I needed. You can read a little more about my story here.

What is postpartum depression?

Postpartum depression is depression that occurs after childbirth. Some people may also call it the “baby blues”. Some women experience postpartum anxiety in addition to or instead of postpartum depression. There is a difference, and I only experienced depression so I will not be speaking to postpartum anxiety. There can be varying degrees from just a little sadness that seems to go away on it’s own to extreme cases that can lead to suicide. It is extremely important to address this issue and take care of your mental health. Especially when you have a new life to take care of!

Why does postpartum depression happen?

I am not a doctor so I can’t explain all the physical reasons perfectly for why this happens, but I know your body goes through A LOT during pregnancy, birth, and after birth. Not only has your body physically been through a lot and is trying to figure out how to heal, your hormones are going CRAZY on you as well as all sorts of processes going through changes within your body as well.

I know for me it was a lot worse with my second child. He also had colic and would cry all the time which I think contributed because I had very little sleep and had to deal with a crying baby and toddler all at once. Sometimes when my husband was at work, I would just sit in a chair with both of my boys and cry. Through my husband’s urging, I saw a doctor and started working on taking care of myself and finally started to see the light again.

8 Tips to Heal from Post Partum Depression

Tip 1: Pray and read God’s Word

The first place to always go is the feet of the Savior. Take time everyday to get that life-giving bread and water from His Word and spending time with Him. I know it’s not easy to do as a mom, but even if it’s just for a few minutes when you’re in the bathroom, it is necessary to keep you connected with the One who loves you more than any other person could and who is fighting for you always.

When I was at my lowest, I prayed and cried out to God, but I needed more help too. It’s ok if you need other help! God created doctors, friends, family, and churches for us to have community – to encourage each other and build each other up. It does not mean you are weak or not a good enough Christian when you feel like praying isn’t “fixing” everything for you. God IS with you, but He has other plans for your healing. It may be because it blesses someone to help you or it could be that you just need to get to a place of humility and brokenness to be able to receive His healing fully.

Tip 2: Listen

This was a hard one for me. It took multiple conversations from my husband and mom for me to even consider getting help. Then something happened that clicked everything into place and made me call the doctor. A friend I hadn’t talked to in a while reached out to me and when found out I was struggling called me. She told me about her struggle with depression and how important getting help was. Having someone outside of my family share her story with me and speak about how important it was to get help made me realize I really did need to get help.

Sometimes it is hard to listen to people when you’re depressed. I totally get it! It’s easy to get defensive and not want to listen. But your friends and family have the best for you in their hearts and minds when they have these difficult conversations with you. It is not easy for them to see you struggle, and they truly want what’s best for you.

Tip 3: Talk

One of the symptoms of depression is withdrawing. It’s easy to want to shrink into yourself and not want to talk to anybody about anything. But this is probably the worst thing you can do. Being open and honest about your struggles is critically important. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable! A lot of times opening up is the first step to healing.

Sometimes all you need is to talk to your husband or mom, but sometimes you may need more professional help. It could be a pastor, social worker, counselor, or a mentor. That’s for you to decide, but there is no shame in seeking professional help through counseling. I have seen multiple counselors, and finding the right Christian counselor can help gently guide you back into health with the use of God’s Word and prayer.

Tip 4: See a doctor

Depending on how severe your depression is, you may need to see a doctor. I would err on the side of caution and say telling your doctor any struggle is a great step. They can then help you navigate whether medicine would be the right fit for you. Sometimes you don’t even need a prescription medication. There are lots of supplements now that could help ease anxiety or depression, but it’s best to always talk with your doctor first!

I had a hard time wanting to tell my doctor. I felt like they would see me failing as a mom. But that couldn’t be a bigger lie! My doctor was so kind and compassionate about the whole thing. I am so grateful for him. If you feel unheard by your doctor, then find someone else! There are tons of great doctors out there that will listen and really want to do what’s best for you.

Tip 5: Eat Healthy

Some people lose their appetites when they’re depressed while others want to eat everything. I was the latter, of course! And I didn’t want to eat anything healthy. All I wanted was junk. But when you’re down the most important thing you can do is fuel your body well. Feed it with whole, healthy foods and try to stay away from the processed stuff. A treat is of course ok, but try to get the bulk of your food from real food so that you are getting all the good stuff your body needs to heal.

To help you do this while you’re depressed, you may need to get some accountability from your husband or friend. Maybe you can get a healthy meal delivery service if you don’t feel like cooking. Or on good days you can do a bunch of meal prep so you have some healthy options on the bad days. There are usually healthy options when ordering out these days too. Whatever it takes to fuel your body well!

Tip 6: Exercise

The last thing I want to do when I’m depressed is exercise. But moving your body can do so much good. Getting blood moving and releasing endorphins will help your mood exponentially! The key is doing something that you like to do so that you will get out and do it. You’re already down and are not going to want to try to force yourself to do something that you hate doing.

For me, it’s running and pilates. But I started out very slow with just walking until I started to feel better and slow progressed back up to running. Pilates is also amazing at making you feel good! I highly recommend trying it if you’re not sure what would help. My most favorite videos are from Robin Long of the Balanced Life. She is so calm and encouraging emphasizing that it’s about grace over guilt. I am a member of the Sisterhood and strongly recommend it, but she has plenty of free videos and resources too.

Find what helps you – whether it’s walking, lifting weights, or Crossfit. Everyone is different and everyone’s body is different so listen to what you need.

Tip 7: Get outside

God created the earth so of course He uses it to help heal us! Getting outside in some sunshine every day is so good for your body in many ways. Again, I’m definitely not an expert on the subject, but I found this article from Healthline that describes all the benefits well. Basically it releases feel good hormones and gives us vitamin D among other things.

Another thing I’ve found to help me is grounding – or having direct skin contact with the earth. So like walking or standing barefoot in the grass or if you’re lucky and at the beach then in the sand. There isn’t extensive research into grounding, but from what I’ve read it can reduce inflammation in your body and help you feel better in a variety of ways. Here’s another Healthine article that talks about grounding.

Tip 8: Sleep! (when you can)

I know, I know. This seems impossible with a newborn (or even a 2 year old!). But sleep is SO important!!! Make sure you talk to your partner about how he can help you get the sleep you need. I know “they” say to sleep when the baby sleeps. But I always found a long list of things I had to do when the baby slept so it never really seemed to happen for me. Also, my husband has chronic health problems that flair up when he doesn’t get enough sleep so I always felt bad for asking for his help. But I had to realize my health is important too, and we were able to work out ways I could get some extra ZZZ’s.

Sometimes it really is just saying no to the dishes, laundry, and dirty house and just taking a 20 minute nap while the baby naps. There’s no need to beat yourself up about things not getting done around the house. You are doing a great job momma! And taking care of yourself is more important than a dirty house. Your baby needs a healthy and happy mom before she needs everything to be spotless.

Conclusion

Postpartum depression is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. Your mental health is so important because if you’re not healthy you can’t be the mom and wife your family needs and deserves. So stay in the Word, talk about your struggles, and seek help when you need it. You’ve got this momma! You’re doing an awesome job, and we all want to see you be your best you for your family.

Have you ever struggled with postpartum depression? If so, what was something that helped you?

The post 8 Tips for Dealing with Postpartum Depression first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

Both of us began our journeys to finding who we truly were through different Christian discipleship counselors. Since then, we continue to learn and grow through various resources including the Bible, Christian teaching (podcasts/sermons/conferences), discipleship, the Holy Spirit, prayer, and books. All of these resources can be valuable, but we have to be careful and check everything we learn from outside sources against the Bible and in prayer listening to the Holy Spirit to verify it is good and true.

If you are interested in learning more about what I mean when I say identity in Christ, check out the blog post I wrote about it here. Also please don’t hesitate to reach out to me or to check out our top 5 resources we’ve found on the subject.

*This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase using this link. Please see my disclosure for more details.

1 – Neil Anderson – Victory Over the Darkness

Neil Anderson has a lot of really great resources pertaining to our identities in Christ. I found the first part of the book to be a little drier, but stick with it because it does get better! This is the best place to start if you are new to him or just learning about your identity in Christ. It is full of so many good things like the battle we’re in and how to overcome it, finding freedom from your past, discovering how God sees you, winning the battle of your mind, and more!

2 – Neil Anderson – The Bondage Breaker

After finishing Victory Over the Darkness, The Bondage Breaker is a great next read. It has a lot of really good information about breaking free from things that may be oppressing or entangling you. There is a section in the book called Steps to Freedom. I highly recommend going through these steps by yourself or with a friend or mentor. There is also a workbook that is specifically for the Steps to Freedom. It is a great resource to have to identify areas of bondage that you may not even realize are there and finding freedom from them.

3 – Paul Ellis – The Gospel in Ten Words

This book is packed with awesome truth! If I could have highlighted the whole book I would have. Expanding on 10 key words of the Gospel, this book explains it in simple terms while also exposing some truths you may have never thought of. I would highly recommend this for any believer – old or new. It will reignite your heart and love for the Gospel!

4 – Bill Gillham – Lifetime Guarantee

Bill Gillham is also another great resource for identity in Christ. Anything he has will be good, but this is a great one to start out with of his. He talks about his own struggle of trying to live for God out of the flesh and helps readers identify this struggle in their own lives. He of course doesn’t stop there though but talks about how victory comes from realizing and living from our true identities in Christ and what God wants out of life for us.

5 – Ruth Myers – 31 Days of Praise

There is nothing that can align you more with the Lord and His will and identity for you than praise. I have found that the most intimate times I have with the Lord are when I’m praising Him especially during a hard time. This is a great month long devotional that will refocus your perspective off the struggles of your own life and back on Jesus. A must read for those struggling with dark thoughts/depression.

What resources have you found helpful in your walk with the Lord?

The post Top 5 Books on Identity in Christ first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

Proverbs 31 Woman

My husband and I didn’t meet until we were nearing 30. We were both pretty confident in what we wanted in a spouse so when we met, we didn’t waste a lot of time. We dated quickly, married quickly, and got pregnant quickly. So I went from a single woman to a married woman to a mom in a short amount of time. I naively expected I would naturally fall perfectly in line with the Proverbs 31 woman. Proverbs 31 describes a woman who works to help support the family as well as keeps the household together, is full of strength, wisdom, and kindness, never partakes in idleness, and her husband and children praise her – all while not sleeping. Trying to work full time, take care of the household, and take care of a new baby had me feeling like I was treading water, just barely keeping my head above it. Add not sleeping on top of that and all that kindness was gone, leaving little for my husband and sons to praise. I think as women/wives/mothers, we place these expectations on ourselves for perfection – to achieve the Proverbs 31 woman – out of our own sheer will power and strength. Then we find ourselves disappointed and feeling like failures when we can’t live up.  Maybe you don’t have a desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman, maybe instead you are driven to achieve success in a career or even a hobby. We live in a culture where working hard gets you where you need to go. It results in good things, so the harder you work the more you think you deserve to receive – more recognition, more money, more prestige. This same attitude is many times brought into our walk with the Lord as well. If we work harder at being “good”, He will somehow love and bless us more.  But is that truly satisfying or impressive to God?

Our feeble attempts to try to be holy, do good things, and live a “right” life in our own strength are actually achieving the opposite in God’s eyes. It is saying the Gospel isn’t enough – His grace isn’t enough. This is what Paul was encountering when he wrote to the Galatians. He saw how quickly they were deserting the true Gospel they had received from him earlier. He saw that they were listening to false teachers who were convincing them that through works of the law they could somehow satisfy God.  But those works of the law were not pleasing to God, just like our striving to be the perfect woman/wife/mother/employee/child of God aren’t either. We realize as we work hard to fill in this chasm between us and God that no matter how hard we try it doesn’t seem to work, things don’t seem to get better. All we’re left with are feelings of defeat, failure, and depression. The lies that God could never love us and we could never be enough begin to dominate our thought life which in turn begins to affect our actions. The cycle is brutal, ugly, and hopeless. And is exactly where Satan wants us to be. It says in John 8:44, Satan is the father of lies – he will take things that seem good and manipulate them. He will do anything to try and damage our relationship with God and keep us from knowing the truth. So what is the truth? And how do we stop this painful cycle?      

Dead to Sin

The first thing we need to understand is what we died to.

What does it mean when it says “I have been crucified with Christ (Gal 2:20a)”? When we identify with Christ after becoming believers, we are identifying that what He accomplished on the cross is true in our lives too. So what did Christ die for on the cross?

 The main thing we think of when we think of Christ dying on the cross is that he died for our Sin.

We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.  For one who has died has been set free from sin. Romans 6:6-7

As a result of Christ’s sacrifice, we have been set free from sin. We are free from the bondage of this sin condition that has ruled our lives up until we enter into our relationship with God through Christ. This is the sin that entered into mankind in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve partaking of the forbidden fruit. It lied to us, programmed our minds to operate in a way that satisfied our own flesh and desires. Even to these earthly, temporary pleasures we have died. 

And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:24

John Gregory Mantle wrote, “There is a great difference between realizing, ‘On that Cross He was crucified for me,’ and ‘On that Cross I am crucified with Him.’ The one aspect brings us deliverance from sin’s condemnation, the other from sin’s power.”

We are now then crucified or dead to sin’s power.

Dying to Good Works

But I think there’s a little more to it than that. We didn’t just die to our sin condition, we also died to the Law, which in our case would look more like Good Works.

Growing up, I was a middle child to an older sister and younger brother. I fell victim to the Middle Child Syndrome from an early age. I often felt overshadowed and forgotten. I would try to gain attention from my parents by always doing things right and earn their favor. But I never felt like it was enough – if I did get their attention it was just for a moment before my sister or brother did something again to put the attention back on them. As I grew up and started reflecting though, I realized that I had missed it the whole time. My parents had a deep respect and trust for me. They appreciated how I could take care of myself since their attention was often pulled elsewhere. They loved me for me just being me, I didn’t have to try so hard.

I think we do this often as believers. We think that we are saved by grace through faith, but then somehow are required to work for our sanctification or approval of God. That by following the rules laid out and being a good moral person then we somehow can make God notice us, love us, and maybe even give us what we want. But that’s not how it works. He’s always there, respecting us, trusting us, and loving us exactly as we are because of Christ’s sacrifice. Nothing we can do will add or take away from that love. He loves us because He loves us because He loves us – no other reason than that.

yet we know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because by works of the law no one will be justified. Galatians 2:16

Who We Are Now

Once we begin to understand what we’ve been crucified to, next we can start to understand who we are now.

It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. Galatians 2:20b

What does this mean that Christ now lives in us?

We recognize that we identify with Christ and his crucifixion so we must now identify with him in His life. So we now get to share in the life of Christ.

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Colossians 3:1-4

He is now our life and we are with him in glory.

Our old flesh and sin condition have died, and we now have Christ in us so we must be new creations.

We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. Romans 6:4

In Christ, we now have newness of life. We are identified as God’s chosen children.

My husband and I joke that our sons have no hope of being normal. We’re so goofy and quirky, it has to rub off on them. Plus, they were born Byrds. Our genetics are passed down to them. They inherited many of our traits that we’ll see emerge as they develop and grow. They can alter their behavior to try to be more normal than us, but they can never change their DNA.

Receiving Our Inheritance

When we become new Creations in Christ, we are reborn spiritually. We are born into God’s family as his daughter – an heir to His Kingdom. And because Christ is in us, we now start having the attributes of Him showing in our lives.

 And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise. I mean that the heir, as long as he is a child, is no different from a slave, though he is the owner of everything, but he is under guardians and managers until the date set by his father.  In the same way we also, when we were children, were enslaved to the elementary principles of the world.  But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law,  to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.  And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. Galatians 3:29-4:7

Heir is defined here as a sharer by lot or inheriter; by implication, a possessor. We now inherit all of God’s Kingdom, no longer bound by slavery to the world. Knowing you are now dead to sin and not required to do good works to earn God’s favor and that you now have Christ living inside of you, sharing His life and all of God’s Kingdom with you, how could your life not reflect this?

Living by Faith

Lastly, we need to understand how our life reflects this.

The life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20c

We all live by faith every day. When you get in your car, you have faith it will start and will work properly as you drive to the store. Or when you go eat at a restaurant, you have faith you won’t end up with food poisoning. But what are we putting our faith in during our day to day activities? That’s what makes the difference. We must choose who are we living this life for, and that He is worth putting our faith in.

For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died;  and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15

Living by faith in the Son of God is not only believing God is who He says He is. But also, believing I am who God says I am. Neil Anderson in his book Victory over the Darkness says, “Faith in God fails only when people have a faulty understanding of Him.” The only way we can know God is by spending time with Him. Knowing Him is a direct result of abiding in Him through His Word, spending time with Him in prayer and reflection, and taking steps of faith when He leads. This kind of abiding and faith is only accomplished through the Holy Spirit.

The Power Source – The Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit is the key here. It is only out of the Holy Spirit’s leading, strength, and faith that we are able to do anything worthy of God. The Holy Spirit is how Christ lives in us and is always available. When we stop striving out of our own strength and flesh and start resting and abiding in the Holy Spirit, God is glorified and we find true peace and satisfaction. He doesn’t want us to live life alone. He has given us His Spirit to live inside of us. How would that change your viewpoint on every day? If you were always consciously aware of God living inside of you.

You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you. Romans 8:9-11

And when we are aware and make every effort to seek Him in every decision, it takes the pressure off of us. It is no longer about our performance, it’s all about God’s glory.

When my husband and I were preparing to begin our journey towards missions, we encountered trials. My husband got very sick and had to quit his job. I found out I was pregnant unexpectedly. I felt like we should just give up on missions and just try to make it day to day. But my husband had great faith he would be healed and we would get to still go serve the Lord. So he prayed, and we prayed. I struggled to believe it would ever get any better as things seemed to get worse and worse. But Kevin never stopped believing. He had to hold onto the hope of Christ that lived in him. Eventually, Kevin started slowly getting better. And better and better. And then it was time for the baby to be born. So we prepared to go to our training school with a new baby and the chance that Kevin could get sick like that all over again. I had many doubts, but I borrowed some of Kevin’s faith. We got the house ready to sell, and within a day we had a full asking price offer. We got the car ready to sell and within two days of listing it, it was sold. Many other things fell perfectly into place during that time too. I know it was a way God was confirming in both Kevin and I’s hearts that this was the right path. If it wasn’t for Kevin’s faith and hope in the Lord, relying on the Holy Spirit and trusting in God’s promises though, we wouldn’t have gone. I was inspired by him during that time, and I praise God every day for bringing us out of that pit and bringing us into a place of service to Him. Having faith in God isn’t always easy. Most of the time it’s not. But with the Holy Spirit’s help and the decision to trust, it is always fruitful.

Finding Hope in Who We Are

Through understanding what we’ve died to, who we are now, and how our life reflects this new creation, we can break the cycle of pain, disappointment, and exhaustion. We can have hope again. The striving can cease. The grace of God can prevail. We can finally rest in the confidence of being a chosen daughter of God purely for His joy and pleasure and not because of anything we did or could do. But I don’t think this change of living a freed life will happen instantly. The worries and fears of this world will still try to choke us and burden us again under this yoke of slavery. Satan will continue to throw his fiery darts so we forget the goodness of God and give into our fleshly responses and desires. But as we discover more about who God is and who He says we are now, the easier it becomes to live out of faith that it is actually true. The more we rest in and rely on the Holy Spirit, the more our actions become less about us proving ourselves and more about us desiring to glorify God above all else.

When I was growing up I had a dog named PB that thought she was a cat. You see, my uncle’s mom had picked her up off the side of the road where she had been abandoned when she was only a few days old. She took her home and began to care for her. But the only other pets she had inside the house were a lot of cats. So PB grew up learning how to be a cat. She would give herself baths by licking her paws then her ears. She would try to purr. She would sit aloof and not play or do any normal dog like things. When my uncle’s mom died, we took PB in. We didn’t have any cats or other dogs, just her. But we treated her like a dog, even though she acted like a cat. We encouraged her to play, gave her dog treats, and taught her to walk on a leash. Eventually over time, all the cat like tendencies in her were gone and she was just a regular dog that loved to play, dig, and bark.

As we abide in the Holy Spirit and allow Him to speak who we truly are over us, we will begin to believe it. When we begin to believe it, our minds will begin to change. Then our actions will follow. No longer will we feel compelled to be the perfect mom/wife/sister/Christian. But we will be content in our identities as daughters of Christ and will joyfully serve Him. So I urge you mommas, take time to know and trust Him. It is only there your satisfaction lies.

In this post, I talk about some of the resources that have helped my husband and I find our true identities in Christ. And here you can grab your free identity in Christ list printable.

What lies have you been believing about who you are?

The post Living A New Identity: Discover your Identity in Christ first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. Who was this frustrated, depressed, sleep-deprived monster? Who couldn’t hold it together for even an hour most days. Who yearned for sleep and separation from her children who she really did love. I didn’t like this version of myself. I needed help, but I was afraid of the shame and guilt that came with it. Thank God for blessing me with a loving, patient, and determined husband who pushed until I gave in.

Unfortunately, in both the Christian and mom circles, seeking help is shown as a sign of weakness and failure. I should be a better Christian and mother. I should be able to hold it together and live a peaceful and perfect existence with perfect and peaceful kids.

This is NOT reality! But too many moms and Christians believe the lies that this should be our reality. Then we fall deeper into the darkness of the tunnel and get completely lost with no signs of light anymore. This is a dark and scary place to be.

Finding Healing

I’ve dealt with some depression my whole life, but postpartum depression hit me hard after the birth of my second son. He had colic so sleep was hard to come by. I had a toddler that didn’t understand why suddenly he wasn’t get all of the attention. My husband was working at a difficult job that was giving him anxiety and other health issues. I was trying to take care of everyone plus work part time from home. PLUS the fun hormone roller coaster my body was on.

After a lot of prayers and prompting from my husband and mom, I went to see the doctor. It’s so sad to me how much shame I felt for even making the appointment. I hate Satan for making getting help with mental health still appear to be a sign of weakness or shame. If I had a physical issue after giving birth, no one would question it if I went to the doctor for help.

The doctor was so gracious and kind. He did not for a minute make me feel less than for needing help. He talked about how common it is for women and applauded me for getting help. Praise God for his kind and gentle heart!

I started antidepressants and once I got my dosage right, the light started to peak through the darkness and the fog began to clear. Slowly over a few weeks, I started to feel human again. I didn’t dread waking up every morning. I got to enjoy baby snuggles and toddler giggles. I was able to pray and hear the Lord’s voice again. It gave me back my life.

I started to finally feel like I wanted to do stuff again. Mainly stuff to take care of myself so I could properly take care of my family. I started exercising, eating better, and going out in public. I wanted to see friends and family again.

God, our Healer

God is amazing. He is all powerful. He is sovereign. And He is so so so good. He is our healer. I 100% believe He still miraculously heals people every day, from spiritual, emotional, and physical illness. I also believe He can use the resources He has given to us through doctors and medicine to heal us.

I can spend time beating myself up that I didn’t have enough faith or pray the right way for God to supernaturally heal me. Or I can choose to accept the healing He gave me through medicine and praise Him! I choose the latter because He didn’t create us for our short time on earth to beat ourselves up or constantly live in self defeat. He created us for abundant, full life through His Spirit where He shares every spiritual blessing with us even now on earth (Ephesians 1:3-8). He created us to have an intimate relationship with Him where we get to know and grow deeply in love with Him (1 John 4:16-17). And because of medicine for the first time in years, I feel like I can finally start hearing Him clearly, receive His grace and blessings, and be a part of serving His Kingdom again.

He didn’t stop loving me for seeking help. In fact He blessed it with providing me healing (Psalm 30:2). He is a loving Father, and He loves to give His children good gifts (Matthew 7:9-11; 1 John 3:1). So I receive His love and freedom He’s given me. And I encourage you to do the same.

Everyone’s journey to healing – whether physically, spiritually, or emotionally – will look different. Every person is unique created by a creative God, and He has a unique way of relating and bringing healing to all of us. Don’t ever let Satan make you feel shame or guilt for seeking help. You are loved and worthy of healing and freedom.

The post How I found myself again – My Postpartum Journey first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

It was dinner time on a Thursday evening. My husband was sick in bed with a migraine. I had to wake up my youngest from his nap because his schedule was all messed up from a doctor’s appointment that morning, and he was not happy about it. And my oldest was yelling “Mom!” every two seconds. The latest was because he had gotten juice from his grape on his hand. Really?! Juice from a grape is just THAT serious?!

I know you feel me. We’ve all had those days/nights (wait – all the days and nights!) where you’re just not enough. Everyone needs something from you, and you just can’t take hearing that “Mom!” one.more.time.

Unconditional Love

My husband is so gracious and patient. He never loses his temper with the kids, and I’ve barely ever seen him lose his temper with anyone. I am not like him. I tend to get easily frustrated and lose my temper and speak before I’ve even had time to think about what I’m saying. Being a mom has revealed too much of my ugly sinful flesh.

But guess what? God still loves me. My husband still loves me. My children still love me. Even though I feel undeserving. Even though I know I’ll lose my temper again. Even on the hardest, darkest, most frustrating days I am loved.

There are a lot of ways to know God’s love for me is unconditional and full of grace, but one of the most treasured to me during this season is the forgiving, gracious love of my husband and children. I hate to see myself so distracted and easily frustrated, but my family has so much grace. So much I don’t deserve.

Breathe and Pray

Instead of living in a constant place of self defeat, I take a minute, breathe, and pray. Sometimes I go into a separate room and close the door and cry or scream or just breathe. Then when I’ve gathered my composer, I go apologize. First to God, then to my family members. In that moment when I see the love in my family’s eyes, I receive the precious grace and love of the Lord. He’s in all the moments, but I truly soak Him in in these sweet ones.

I’m not perfect. My kids aren’t perfect. My husband isn’t perfect. But our love covers these sins and helps us see the best in each other. That kind of love can only be from the Lord. And only reflects a portion of the unconditional gracious love the Lord has for us.

Satan wants us to live in a place of self defeat. But we can’t let him have that victory in our lives! Yes, we screw up. Yes, it’s hard most of the time. But we have unconditional, never-ending Grace that is waiting for us. We just have to stop, breathe, and receive.

The post If I hear that word one more time… first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

I didn’t think my self esteem could get any lower. Then I became a mom.

All of the sudden, I felt like everything I was doing was wrong – potentially screwing up the little human God had entrusted to me. Lies of the past that I thought I had overcome through the truths of God’s Word were re-emerging with a vengeance in addition to all the new ways I felt I was failing as a mom. Patterns of comparing myself to others leading to self-loathing began dominating my thought life. I couldn’t be a good mom, wife, sister, daughter, or woman believing these lies. I couldn’t keep living like this.

Thankfully, through the Lord’s grace and patience, He slowly used people, Scripture, and the love of my family to bring the truth back to light. That’s the thing about God, He never gives up on us. He always knows what we need and will give it to us even if we’re not looking for it. He is the BEST Father giving the best gifts to His children. In His infinite grace and mercy, He reminded me that my life isn’t about me at all. It’s about Him – His glory, His purposes, His Kingdom advancement.

He made each of us exactly as we were supposed to be. And yes, in our fleshly, worldly state, we are weak and incompetent and “failures”. Because we are nothing and can do nothing significant without Him. But WITH Him, IN Him, THROUGH Him, we can accomplish anything He’s asking us to do. We are complete, whole, forgiven, free, and perfect.

I don’t need to worry about being enough for my husband, kids, family, or friends as long as I’m living humbly submitted to the Holy Spirit and walking in obedience with Him. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to make that choice to walk in humble obedience every minute of every day or that I don’t still battle the lies and worries that come with being a mother. But it does provide freedom when I choose to receive it. I have the choice in every moment to receive the identity I have in Christ and die to my flesh and be the mother and wife God created me to be. I can actually rejoice in my weaknesses and failures because that shows God’s power, grace, and abilities even more. And if I’m truly living the life He’s called me to, that’s exactly what I should be doing. So let’s REJOICE mommas!! In this beautiful, messy, grace-filled life God has ordained before us.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

The post The Perfectly Imperfect Mom first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.