The feeling that you are not enough or doing enough for your children (or husband). That if only you could “get it together”, life would be easier and more pleasant.

This often comes from comparing yourself to other moms based on outward appearance, their well behaved children, or from not living up to your own expectations of what a mother should be. It can be a dangerous place to let your mind wander or stay and can lead to depression, anxiety, fear, and not parenting fully from the truth of the Word and the Holy Spirit that God has gifted you as your guide and counselor. It is a sneaky tactic of the enemy to keep us from relying on God, beating ourselves up as never being enough, and not getting to experience the joy of our families.

How can the lies of mom guilt be stopped before they go too far?

3 Necessary Steps to Identifying and Combating Mom Guilt

1 – Realize You are Not Enough

You, in your own strength and flesh, are not enough. You and your spouse together are not enough. You will never know all of the answers or how to parent perfectly. But this does not mean you are without hope or should just give up.

Instead of figuring it out on your own or with Google or Instagram, turn to the One who DOES know it all and DOES have all the answers.

When we can get to a place of recognizing our need for a Savior in ALL aspects of life,

we will find freedom of the burden of mom guilt.

Guilt is not something we are meant to carry when we are in Christ. If your burdens feel heavy, then you are likely carrying something you should not be carrying. Jesus said when we turn to Him and rely on Him, our burdens will be easy and our yokes light (Matthew 11:29-30).

So how does that actually happen? Can we really live a life with easy burdens and light yokes? Does this mean everything will work out perfectly?

2 – Live out of Your Identity in Christ

Absolutely not! And absolutely at the same time!! It all comes down to perspective. Maybe in your perspective nothing is perfect and the heavy burdens will never stop. But when we rely on the Lord and ask Him to help us, He can help change our perspective not only on our circumstances around us but who we are and how we approach issues as they come up.

The most freeing part of the Gospel that I think gets overlooked too often is who we now are in Christ. It is easy as a believer to spend an abundance of time focusing on your sin, especially as a mom!

But God didn’t redeem us to spend the entirety of our lives sulking in our sin and worrying we’re always screwing up.

God gave us new life in Him to have NEW LIFE – free of condemnation, guilt, and shame (Romans 8:1-2). He wants us to live freely from our identity in what Christ accomplished and wants us to show our number one opportunities to share the Gospel with – our children – what a life looks like when they believe.

I want to clarify that when we screw up, it is still important to confess your sin and repent before the Lord. This not only restores any distance you have placed between you and Him but also keeps us humble of who He is – a righteous, sovereign God – and who we are – saints ONLY through the sacrifice of Jesus. It keeps us in a place of praise and worship before the most worthy King.

It’s important to note that the point of God giving us new life and identity in Christ is for HIS glory not for us to look or feel good.

If you truly start to understand all that was accomplished through Christ’s sacrifice, it will bring you to your knees in worship, give you a desire to seek to live a holy life, and will convict you of your sins and lead you to repentance. You will realize how unworthy you are and how worthy God is. You will clearly see how undeserving you are of this precious gift and gratitude will flow from your life. Through all of this, your perspective will begin to change. It will stop being just about you and your comfortable life and more about God’s glory being shown and His will being accomplished. You will start to see things from the broader perspective of eternity instead which will change everything. You can find additional resources and more information on identity in Christ in these books.

3 – Trust God’s Grace is Enough

As we continue to walk in the flesh on this side of heaven, we will never do it all perfectly. That’s where God’s perfect grace continues to shine through every single day. In our weakness He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). In our failures He is sovereign, gracious, and good (Colossians 1:16-17, Romans 8:28).

Realizing that God loves your children more than you do, has good plans for them, and never gives up pursuing them can be a very freeing experience.

Of course, we should strive to parent well out of the Spirit’s leading and the truth of the Bible. But we will mess up. Maybe every now and then or maybe every day (that’s me).

But when you do mess up it does NOT mean you are ruining your kids’ lives or their chances for becoming believers. God’s bigger than our mistakes. He does not give up on you or your children. He will faithfully continue to pursue and love unconditionally because He cares more about you and your children’s hearts and souls than about temporary circumstances or you doing it all perfectly.

His will is not reliant on you and me. It is reliant on Him alone. While He allows us to be a part of His kingdom work, we also can’t screw it up. He will accomplish what He has set out to do one way or another. There is freedom coming to this place – accepting God’s unconditional love and grace and trusting that we can’t mess up His will.

As long as we’re seeking Him and spending time with Him, our desire will be to please Him, and He will start aligning our hearts with His.

Due to the battle that exists within our own flesh and the enemy that currently rules this earth, we will never do it perfectly. This is where we can lean into trusting His promises that what He begins He will bring to completion (Philippians 1:6). One way or another, His will will be accomplished.

We can trust Him. His love for us far exceeds what we could even imagine (Ephesians 3:19). So instead of sitting in guilt or shame for every screw up, come humbly before the Lord and receive the forgiveness He already laid out on the cross. You can trust from that place, He will meet you and surround you with His peace, love, grace, and reassurance that He is in control.

10 Bible Verses to Combat Mom Guilt

Meditate on these verses during your day to remind yourself of the redemption, grace, and sovereignty of the Lord.

“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,  may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”

Ephesians 3:14-21 NIV

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”

Galatians 5:1 ESV

“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him.”

2 Corinthians 5:17-18 NLT

“For we are the circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh—”

Philippians 3:3 ESV

“We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.”

Romans 6:4 NIV

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Romans 15:13 NLT

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.”

Psalm 139:14-16 ESV

Psalm 145:8-9 NIV

“for through him God created everything
    in the heavenly realms and on earth.
He made the things we can see
    and the things we can’t see—
such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world.
    Everything was created through him and for him.
 He existed before anything else,
    and he holds all creation together.”

Colossians 1:16-17 NLT

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Jesus, Matthew 11:28-30 ESV

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Tip #1 – Keep your Bible Handy

For me, it’s in the living room. I often find myself reading when the boys are watching a tv show in the morning. I have a routine where I get my husband’s breakfast, coffee, and lunch ready then sit and read my Bible and pray while the boys watch some morning TV. You may not be a fan of your kids watching TV, which I think is amazing!! I wish I had the patience to not need the distraction of TV to keep me sane and the boys occupied. If you are one of those awesome ones that don’t do TV, find some other activity in the mornings to keep your kids occupied. Depending on their age, it could be quiet reading time, coloring sheets, board games, playdoh, or crafts (that don’t need your help).

Whenever and wherever you decide would be the best place to do it, keep a Bible, journal, and pen there. Maybe there are a couple of rooms you’ll bounce between. Have a Bible, journal, and pen in each place. That way the resource is always there. It can also help serve as a reminder when you put it in a place you are often. Sometimes you may need to carry it around with you. Sometimes I’ll take my Bible into the kitchen while I’m getting the boys’ breakfast ready. It may not be the quietest or most ideal situation, but I am getting the Living Bread and Water so I can move forward in my day. Whatever it looks like for you, trust that ANY time you spend in God’s Word is not wasted. So even if you only get 5 minutes, it is the most worthwhile 5 minutes you’ll spend that day.

Another note – I love studying in a Study Bible. It has commentary and notes about connected verses you can look up that drives your study even deeper. My two favorite study Bibles I’ve ever had are the Quest Study Bible and Scofield Study Bible.

Tip #2 – Aim for a time but have flexibility

I like to do mine first thing in the morning (after getting the hubby off to work). I made a decision that I was going to have my quiet time before I did anything else (like get on my computer/phone/social media). Most days this happens, but (especially with kids) not every day will go as planned. Give yourself some GRACE on these days. It’s OK, if it didn’t get done right on time or by a certain schedule. Try to find time to fit it in as the day goes on. Like I said previously even 5 minutes is worth it. Maybe it’s giving up 5 minutes on Facebook while the kids nap or at school or maybe you don’t get to it until you’re about to go to sleep. It doesn’t really matter when you do it, it just matters that you are showing up and spending time with your Maker.

Tip #3 – Have accountability

This is one I’m not great about because I don’t like having accountability. Let’s be honest, how many people really love accountability?! I like to freedom to skip things and not feel guilty about it. I do say enter into this one cautiously if you are like me. The purpose of spending time with the Lord is for yours and His relationship to deepen and grow. For Him to continue to shape you to become more like Him. It is not something you should do because you feel like you “have to” or are “expected to”. If you aren’t doing it for the right reasons you probably will not get much out of it. But if you come willingly and humbly expecting to hear from the Lord, every second will be worth it.

I think if you are going to get accountability through a friend, mentor, or spouse, make sure to ask someone who will not make you feel bad if you miss a day or have a bad week. That’s not the purpose of it. It should be someone who is excited for you and what you’re learning. Someone who encourages you to get into the Word for the benefits it will provide you. Someone who will extend grace in the rough times and pray and encourage you in your current circumstances. If you are going to seek out accountability, keep these things in mind when selecting someone. It should be an encouraging source of community not a condemning source of legalism. Why does it work / why is it important? and how do you do it properly?

Tip #4 – Share with others when you get interrupted

We all know too often that when you have a family as soon as you sit down to do something, it will get interrupted. Instead of getting frustrated and losing it, try talking to your kids (or spouse) about what you are reading about. Share what God is teaching you. Then it will turn into a teaching experience for you, which help you understand on an even deeper level, and a learning experience for your kids (or spouse). We all could use more of God’s Word so it is a win-win.

Tip #5 – Journal

I love journaling. I wish I had more time to devote to it. Getting everything out on paper helps me to retain and grow even deeper in understanding. That’s one reason why I love to blog. Writing things out can bring healing, hope, restoration, understanding, and clarity. It can take those jumbled up thoughts in your head and make them finally make sense. When I journal during my quiet time, I like to write out the scripture I’m reading, any things that stand out to me, thoughts I have about the scripture, ways I think it could be applied to my every day, and prayers and praises. That is a lot! But it helps to keep it organized into blocks if you’re a more organized person. If you are more free-flowing then just start writing and you’d be amazed at what God says to you during that time!

Grab a beautiful journal like this Keepsake Journal for an even more in depth Bible study experience.

Tip #6 – Pray and meditate all day

This is one reason why I like to read in the morning. I find myself thinking back to what I read all day. This is great to keep your mind focused on the Word and how God is teaching you through it. Sometimes I only have 5 minutes to read in the morning, but by the end of the day I’ve thought on what I read most of the day and can have a significant deeper understanding. It’s really amazing to see how God can use a few minutes to help redirect your thoughts all day.

Sticky Notes!! Write down key verses or thoughts you had during your quiet time then place them around your house. At the kitchen sink, on the bathroom mirror, or a table you sit by a lot. This will keep you thinking of things, and is also great at helping you passively memorize Scripture! I had a Bible verse in the center console of my car for years, and I still have that Scripture memorized even though I’ve had a new car for 6 years now. If you’re into all things cute, here’s some of my favorite sticky notes.

Prayer is another important aspect to spending time in the Word. It’s when you can directly talk to the Lord about everything going on. I find I have the best days when I am constantly praying throughout the day. I never do it perfectly, but if I can take the time to stop and pray instead of responding out of frustrating to the kids, I am a much nicer mommy. It also helps if I continually pray about what I read that morning, asking God to reveal what it means and how I can apply it to my life. Learning how to talk to God as you go through your day will bring you more intimacy with Him which results in more peace, patience, compassion, and love.

Tip #7 – Follow a Plan

Lately I have been enjoying reading through books of the Bible. I started in Matthew and read 1-2 full chapters a day. Then depending on the day, I can either meditate and journal in the moment or I have to meditate on it as the day goes on. Some people love this approach. You can do it with any part of the Bible. I will be honest that I have tried many “reading through the Bible” plans, and it’s just not for me. I get lost in the Old Testament and end up giving up. I think if you can follow one of those plans straight through you are amazing!! I prefer to have smaller bite size pieces so I don’t feel so overwhelmed. So I usually just stick with a book at a time.

I am also a huge fan of devotionals! But I think when you’re having quiet time the bulk of learning will come directly from God’s Word. So if I have a devotional that only has a verse or two in it, I will take it a step further and read the whole chapter that verse is in. Some of my favorite devotionals are 31 Days of Praise, and 100 Days of Joy and Strength (who doesn’t love Candance Cameron Bure?!). If you’re looking for a new devotional and not sure what you’d like, read the reviews! Use Amazon, Lifeway, or Dayspring to look at what others say about it. I always like to read the best and the worst reviews and prayerfully decide from that.

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The post 7 Tips to Stay Consistent in God’s Word for Busy Moms (plus 5 free Bible reading plans) first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

When I went to make my baby registry for my first baby, my husband and I invited my friend that already had some children. I literally had her take me by the hand to each aisle and tell me exactly what I needed. She would ask my opinion about something, and I would say “I don’t know! Whatever you say is best.” The whole thing was SO overwhelming for me, and I was thankful to have the wisdom and help of a seasoned parent to tell me what was important and what wasn’t. Through time I learned what worked best for my family and my baby, but in the beginning I needed the extra help.

That is why I wanted to write this post! I want to provide those searching for some advice or have no clue where to start on their baby registry to have a guide to help jump start the journey for you. I do not expect you to follow it exactly of course but use it as a guide to help point you in the right direction. We are all different so I encourage you to do your research and decide what’s best for you and your family, but I will give you my advice on things that worked well for my family.

I recommend registering for items you can use with your baby for the first year so that’s why I included some feeding items such as silverware, bowls, and snack cups. If you don’t feel like you need to worry about these things yet and don’t want to register for them, then skip them! It’s up to you. Whatever you feel like you will need to get started with baby!

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Feeding

• Bottles – I recommend starting with a set of 2-4 4-5 oz bottles of one brand to get started. You may have to hand wash some to get through the day if the baby is exclusively bottle fed, but I think it is worth it in the end. We spent a lot of money trying to find a bottle that worked for our baby. Dr. Brown’s ended up being the best fit for us for both babies. You may find a different one that works for your baby though. That’s why I recommend buying them in smaller quantities until you figure out what works rather than wasting a lot of money on a bunch of bottles you won’t use.
• Variety of nipple sizes – See what comes with your bottle set and get what else you would need. The smaller the nipple size will be for the younger they are. So usually it’s like Level 0 would be for a newborn and Level 4 would be 9+ months. The package will describe an approximate time to transition to the next level of nipple. And once you learn more about what your baby needs, you’ll be able to figure out the best time to transition.
• Bottle Warmer – I think this would be personal preference. We didn’t just love ours, but it was a more basic one. You can get as fancy or simple that you think would help you.
• Bottle Sterilizer – You can always boil the bottles and pump parts to sterilize them, but I found these Baby Bottle Brush with One Base Hidden Nylon Nipple Cleaner, 2 Pcs Sponge Nipple Brushes, 2 Pcs Straw Brushes, Bottle Brush with Nipple Cleaner and Stand, Bottle Brush with Suction Cup, Green“>one though. It will help get all those nooks and crannies you have to clean.
• Dishwasher Basket – If you are planning on putting any bottle/breast pump parts in the dishwasher, I highly recommend getting a basket for the top rack. It makes life tons easier.
• Bottle Drying Rack – I always liked this so that I could keep my bottles away from dishes that touched other foods. This one was my absolute favorite. It packed up and traveled in a breeze.
• Special detergent if desired – When I hand washed I liked to use this Babyganics dish soap on the baby stuff. This is totally personal preference though. You can use your regular dish detergent if you want!
• Bibs – This is mostly personal preference about what you like! But definitely register for some. I personally liked the ones with the plastic backing like these because it kept the clothes dry during feeding/spit up.
• Burp Cloths – Another must have! My first was a spitter, and we went through 6-7 burp cloths a day. We stocked up for our second, but he hardly ever spit up. Each baby is different, but it’s good to have a little on hand while you’re figuring it out. I personally preferred these old school cloth diapers for burp cloths because they are so absorbent.
• High Chair – We found this cheaper one worked well for our family. It was easy to clean, traveled well, and was affordable! You may want to do some research to decide what you like. I would recommend looking for one that wipes down easily because they get messy fast!
• Baby spoons – This will be for when the baby is a little older and starts eating. If you want to do baby led weaning, I highly recommend this one. If you want to do more traditional feeding, I really enjoyed these.
• Baby bowls and plates – I really liked these silicone ones because they stayed put better. I still use them with my 2 year old!
• Snack cups – I really liked these because the baby can reach in and get their own while cutting down on mess. There will probably still be mess, but it does cut down at least!
• If breastfeeding:
  • Breast Pump – check with your insurance because most give these for free. I have used both Medela and Spectra and prefer the Medela.
  • Extra Pump Parts – It’s good to have extra parts especially if you are going to be working or traveling and pumping and can’t wash the parts.
  • Milk Storage Bags – A must for saving milk! Especially if you’re a working mom and will be pumping a lot.
  • Nursing Cover – I’ve tried a couple different kinds, but one that has some space to look down at the baby and so the baby has room to move about is by far the best in my opinion.
  • Boppy Pillow – Great for a nursing support but can also be used for tummy time and support to lay baby on. Highly recommending having one!!

Bath

• Wash cloths and Towels – I think the ones with thicker material and a hood are more useful, but pick ones you like.
• Baby shampoo/body wash – I’ve tried many different kinds, but the one that worked best for my kids who both had sensitive skin and eczema is Aquaphor.
• Lotion – Again, I’ve tried many different kinds because both my kids have very sensitive skin and eczema. The ones that work best for us are CeraVe and Aquaphor. I still use both on my 2 and 3.5 years!
• Hygiene Kit – Pick one with the basics.
• Electric Nail File – I will say this is a game changer!! We have LOVED our electric nail file. Instead of having to worrying about making your poor babies fingers bleed with those nail clippers, you can easily just file them down. Then when they are older, it gets easier to use actual nail clippers.
• Baby bath tub – Until they are old enough to sit up well in the bathtub, you will need some kind of additional support. There are lots of kinds that probably work great! I always just got a basic cheap one and it worked well for us.

Diapering

• Diapers – Pick our your favorite and register for some – size 1 and up. People will likely still buy you different kinds, but you can always pick out your favorite and register for it. Also, I wouldn’t recommend registering for smaller than size 1. Most likely you won’t need newborn size for very long.
• Baby Wipes – Similar to diapers, pick what you like and register for it. People will likely still buy you different kinds.
• Diaper Rash Cream – This is great to have on hand!! Diaper rash can be very painful. Our favorites are Desitin, Aquaphor, and Boudreaux Butt Paste.
• Diaper Bag – This is my absolute favorite that we have been using for over 2 years! It works great for more than one kid.

Sleep

• Swaddles/Sleep Sacks – Neither of babies enjoyed being swaddled, but a couple made the process a little easier. Halo sleepsack swaddle, Swaddle Me, and Miracle Blanket swaddle all worked well when my boys fought a traditional swaddle. After they start rolling over, I just used regular sleep sacks – Halo being my favorite.
• Blankets – Definitely register for some cozy blankets to use for playing and covering while in the car seat and stroller. Muslim swaddle blankets are great! I recommend having some on hand. They can be used as a swaddle, but also a lightweight blanket for the car seat or stroller or even a burp cloth and nursing cover. I always had one handy.
• Pacifiers – If you plan on trying a paci, I would recommend similar to the bottles. Maybe just get one or two different kinds before figuring out which your baby likes best before stocking up. I was not against paci’s but my 2nd completely refused it so you never know if the baby will even take one.
• Crib Sheets – Stock up! I like the cozy jersey ones because it’s a little warmer and very soft, but pick whatever you like.
• Crib Mattress Protector – Another good thing to have a few on hand because you’re never going to know when you’re going to need to do a quick middle of the night bed change. I prefer getting a waterproof one and one that’s not too thick so they don’t get too hot at night.
• Baby Monitor – Personally for us we didn’t want a baby monitor that was on wifi because we didn’t want any creepers to be able to hack in. We did end up with a video monitor that was not on wifi. Now this will not let us log into the camera with our phones, only with the monitor. It will come down to personal preference on what you want in it.

Furniture

• Crib – You can search on Facebook marketplace or other consignment shops or sales to find a decent used one. We got a reasonably priced new Graco one and it worked great for us!
• Crib Mattress – I recommend investing in a nice one. A comfortable baby means more sleep for her and you! We love this one – and both my boys are still using theirs because it has a toddler side. It is so comfy, it made me want to buy a foam mattress for me!
• Changing Table – This is another thing you can find on Facebook marketplace or other consignment shops to find a used one. We got a reasonably priced new Graco one that worked great for us, and we’re still using after 4 years!
• Glider – A chair is a must in a nursery, and we have LOVED this glider. It has been through both babies and almost 4 years still being used.
• Dresser – Look around and find a good fit for keeping all those little baby clothes in. My mother in law repurposed the old dresser that my husband had as a child so it is very special to us!
• Hangers – I would recommend on stocking up on some baby hangers if you plan on hanging any of your fancy baby clothes. I personally didn’t dress my boys up very much so I didn’t have much to hang, but some people like to hang more. Get whatever you feel like you will use.
• Room darkening shades/curtains – When babies are first born they don’t necessarily need it to be super dark to sleep. But as they grow they will become more sensitive to light. I recommend to getting room darkening shades and or curtains to help cut down on early wakings. We have enjoyed these!
• Sound machine – Again this is something you may not need right off the bat, but as babies grow they become more sensitive to noises. We use this one.
• Pack and Play – A must have for traveling with baby. It can be used for sleeping or playing and packs up and travels so easy!

Toys & Books

• Activity mat – There are lots of options! But this is a great, diverse toy that will keep your baby entertained as they grow.
• Baby Bouncer Chair – As soon as the baby was big enough, a bouncy chair was a must for us! It allowed me to have some free hands to cook dinner or do laundry while still watching the baby. We had a couple, and this one was by far my favorite.
• Activity Jumper or Door Way Jumper – We had both and each baby had a favorite. My first preferred the activity jumper while the second loved the door way one. The door way jumper is best if you’re short on space. The activity jumper has a lot more activities to keep the baby busy.
• Mirror – I highly recommend this one toy to keep your baby entertained. There’s nothing they love more than playing with another baby!
• Any other toys/books you know you want. A lot of people will pick out toys and books for you not from the registry.

Strollers & Car Seats

• Stroller – Get a decent stroller that will last. I knew I wanted to get a jogging one because I liked to run, but I didn’t want to spend a lot. We ended up with this one and LOVE it. I still use it almost 4 years later. This one comes with a newborn car seat also which was very handy.
• Umbrella Stroller – I also recommend getting a decent umbrella stroller for easy traveling. This one is great and even has a little basket making it great for airports and amusement parks.
• Convertible car seat – These are great as baby grows. It will last for years and years! We’ve had two different brands but love the Graco one best.
• Car Mirror – It always gave me peace of mind to be able to see my baby when they were rear facing.
• Shades for car window – Trust me when the sun is shining in on your baby’s eyes you will do anything to make that stop! If your car doesn’t have built in shades (like in a van) then this one is our favorite to fit over a car or SUV window.
• Car seat cover – Car seats get messy! I like to have something down directly on the seat before installing the car seat. It will help preserve your seats in your car.
• Car seat toys – There are toys specifically designed for the car seat. I would recommend looking for some and seeing if you like them. Keeping them entertained in the car is a huge plus!
• Baby carrier – I tried all sorts of different ones, including a fancy wrap and sling, but I liked this simple baby carrier the best.

Medicine

• Saline Spray – It’s good to this on hand from the beginning. Little baby stuffy noses are the worst. Some saline spray along with the Nose Frida can make a huge difference!
• Nose Frida – I know it seems gross, but trust me you won’t get any snot in your mouth!! And this is significantly better than just the nose suckers you get at the hospital.
• Gas Drops and Gripe Water – I didn’t use gas drops or gripe water much but some people swear by them. All babies will have tummy aches and gas issues. It is a great idea to have some of these options on hand to try out when your baby isn’t feeling his/her best.

Clothes

• Register for a few things you like – But I wouldn’t register for much. This is one area where it is a joy for people to get to pick out cute outfits on their own to gift you.
• Sleepers – I would recommend if you register for some sleepers, I would register for ones with zippers and/or magnets so your friends and family members know which kind you like. Button sleepers may be cute, but they are a hassle for those middle of the night changings.
• Hats and socks – I wouldn’t recommend many hats. You really won’t need them unless it’s winter and the baby is out a lot. Socks are great to have around, and it’s good to have a lot because they do get lost easy!

Conclusion

I am SO excited for you as your begin this exciting journey! Grab the free printable so you can check things off as you go. Breathe through the panic, bask and sit in the joy, and enjoy the ride into parenthood!

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The post The Ultimate Free Baby Registry Checklist for First Time Moms first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

I had struggled with depression on and off in my life, and although I had gotten down after the birth of my first child I was able to cope and keep moving on. But it was different this second time around. The anger, fear, and sadness was overwhelming and left me feeling as if I was drowning. If it wasn’t for my loving husband, mom and friend, I may have stayed there. But their patience and gentleness with me led me to get the help I needed. You can read a little more about my story here.

What is postpartum depression?

Postpartum depression is depression that occurs after childbirth. Some people may also call it the “baby blues”. Some women experience postpartum anxiety in addition to or instead of postpartum depression. There is a difference, and I only experienced depression so I will not be speaking to postpartum anxiety. There can be varying degrees from just a little sadness that seems to go away on it’s own to extreme cases that can lead to suicide. It is extremely important to address this issue and take care of your mental health. Especially when you have a new life to take care of!

Why does postpartum depression happen?

I am not a doctor so I can’t explain all the physical reasons perfectly for why this happens, but I know your body goes through A LOT during pregnancy, birth, and after birth. Not only has your body physically been through a lot and is trying to figure out how to heal, your hormones are going CRAZY on you as well as all sorts of processes going through changes within your body as well.

I know for me it was a lot worse with my second child. He also had colic and would cry all the time which I think contributed because I had very little sleep and had to deal with a crying baby and toddler all at once. Sometimes when my husband was at work, I would just sit in a chair with both of my boys and cry. Through my husband’s urging, I saw a doctor and started working on taking care of myself and finally started to see the light again.

8 Tips to Heal from Post Partum Depression

Tip 1: Pray and read God’s Word

The first place to always go is the feet of the Savior. Take time everyday to get that life-giving bread and water from His Word and spending time with Him. I know it’s not easy to do as a mom, but even if it’s just for a few minutes when you’re in the bathroom, it is necessary to keep you connected with the One who loves you more than any other person could and who is fighting for you always.

When I was at my lowest, I prayed and cried out to God, but I needed more help too. It’s ok if you need other help! God created doctors, friends, family, and churches for us to have community – to encourage each other and build each other up. It does not mean you are weak or not a good enough Christian when you feel like praying isn’t “fixing” everything for you. God IS with you, but He has other plans for your healing. It may be because it blesses someone to help you or it could be that you just need to get to a place of humility and brokenness to be able to receive His healing fully.

Tip 2: Listen

This was a hard one for me. It took multiple conversations from my husband and mom for me to even consider getting help. Then something happened that clicked everything into place and made me call the doctor. A friend I hadn’t talked to in a while reached out to me and when found out I was struggling called me. She told me about her struggle with depression and how important getting help was. Having someone outside of my family share her story with me and speak about how important it was to get help made me realize I really did need to get help.

Sometimes it is hard to listen to people when you’re depressed. I totally get it! It’s easy to get defensive and not want to listen. But your friends and family have the best for you in their hearts and minds when they have these difficult conversations with you. It is not easy for them to see you struggle, and they truly want what’s best for you.

Tip 3: Talk

One of the symptoms of depression is withdrawing. It’s easy to want to shrink into yourself and not want to talk to anybody about anything. But this is probably the worst thing you can do. Being open and honest about your struggles is critically important. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable! A lot of times opening up is the first step to healing.

Sometimes all you need is to talk to your husband or mom, but sometimes you may need more professional help. It could be a pastor, social worker, counselor, or a mentor. That’s for you to decide, but there is no shame in seeking professional help through counseling. I have seen multiple counselors, and finding the right Christian counselor can help gently guide you back into health with the use of God’s Word and prayer.

Tip 4: See a doctor

Depending on how severe your depression is, you may need to see a doctor. I would err on the side of caution and say telling your doctor any struggle is a great step. They can then help you navigate whether medicine would be the right fit for you. Sometimes you don’t even need a prescription medication. There are lots of supplements now that could help ease anxiety or depression, but it’s best to always talk with your doctor first!

I had a hard time wanting to tell my doctor. I felt like they would see me failing as a mom. But that couldn’t be a bigger lie! My doctor was so kind and compassionate about the whole thing. I am so grateful for him. If you feel unheard by your doctor, then find someone else! There are tons of great doctors out there that will listen and really want to do what’s best for you.

Tip 5: Eat Healthy

Some people lose their appetites when they’re depressed while others want to eat everything. I was the latter, of course! And I didn’t want to eat anything healthy. All I wanted was junk. But when you’re down the most important thing you can do is fuel your body well. Feed it with whole, healthy foods and try to stay away from the processed stuff. A treat is of course ok, but try to get the bulk of your food from real food so that you are getting all the good stuff your body needs to heal.

To help you do this while you’re depressed, you may need to get some accountability from your husband or friend. Maybe you can get a healthy meal delivery service if you don’t feel like cooking. Or on good days you can do a bunch of meal prep so you have some healthy options on the bad days. There are usually healthy options when ordering out these days too. Whatever it takes to fuel your body well!

Tip 6: Exercise

The last thing I want to do when I’m depressed is exercise. But moving your body can do so much good. Getting blood moving and releasing endorphins will help your mood exponentially! The key is doing something that you like to do so that you will get out and do it. You’re already down and are not going to want to try to force yourself to do something that you hate doing.

For me, it’s running and pilates. But I started out very slow with just walking until I started to feel better and slow progressed back up to running. Pilates is also amazing at making you feel good! I highly recommend trying it if you’re not sure what would help. My most favorite videos are from Robin Long of the Balanced Life. She is so calm and encouraging emphasizing that it’s about grace over guilt. I am a member of the Sisterhood and strongly recommend it, but she has plenty of free videos and resources too.

Find what helps you – whether it’s walking, lifting weights, or Crossfit. Everyone is different and everyone’s body is different so listen to what you need.

Tip 7: Get outside

God created the earth so of course He uses it to help heal us! Getting outside in some sunshine every day is so good for your body in many ways. Again, I’m definitely not an expert on the subject, but I found this article from Healthline that describes all the benefits well. Basically it releases feel good hormones and gives us vitamin D among other things.

Another thing I’ve found to help me is grounding – or having direct skin contact with the earth. So like walking or standing barefoot in the grass or if you’re lucky and at the beach then in the sand. There isn’t extensive research into grounding, but from what I’ve read it can reduce inflammation in your body and help you feel better in a variety of ways. Here’s another Healthine article that talks about grounding.

Tip 8: Sleep! (when you can)

I know, I know. This seems impossible with a newborn (or even a 2 year old!). But sleep is SO important!!! Make sure you talk to your partner about how he can help you get the sleep you need. I know “they” say to sleep when the baby sleeps. But I always found a long list of things I had to do when the baby slept so it never really seemed to happen for me. Also, my husband has chronic health problems that flair up when he doesn’t get enough sleep so I always felt bad for asking for his help. But I had to realize my health is important too, and we were able to work out ways I could get some extra ZZZ’s.

Sometimes it really is just saying no to the dishes, laundry, and dirty house and just taking a 20 minute nap while the baby naps. There’s no need to beat yourself up about things not getting done around the house. You are doing a great job momma! And taking care of yourself is more important than a dirty house. Your baby needs a healthy and happy mom before she needs everything to be spotless.

Conclusion

Postpartum depression is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. Your mental health is so important because if you’re not healthy you can’t be the mom and wife your family needs and deserves. So stay in the Word, talk about your struggles, and seek help when you need it. You’ve got this momma! You’re doing an awesome job, and we all want to see you be your best you for your family.

Have you ever struggled with postpartum depression? If so, what was something that helped you?

The post 8 Tips for Dealing with Postpartum Depression first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

Proverbs 31 Woman

My husband and I didn’t meet until we were nearing 30. We were both pretty confident in what we wanted in a spouse so when we met, we didn’t waste a lot of time. We dated quickly, married quickly, and got pregnant quickly. So I went from a single woman to a married woman to a mom in a short amount of time. I naively expected I would naturally fall perfectly in line with the Proverbs 31 woman. Proverbs 31 describes a woman who works to help support the family as well as keeps the household together, is full of strength, wisdom, and kindness, never partakes in idleness, and her husband and children praise her – all while not sleeping. Trying to work full time, take care of the household, and take care of a new baby had me feeling like I was treading water, just barely keeping my head above it. Add not sleeping on top of that and all that kindness was gone, leaving little for my husband and sons to praise. I think as women/wives/mothers, we place these expectations on ourselves for perfection – to achieve the Proverbs 31 woman – out of our own sheer will power and strength. Then we find ourselves disappointed and feeling like failures when we can’t live up.  Maybe you don’t have a desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman, maybe instead you are driven to achieve success in a career or even a hobby. We live in a culture where working hard gets you where you need to go. It results in good things, so the harder you work the more you think you deserve to receive – more recognition, more money, more prestige. This same attitude is many times brought into our walk with the Lord as well. If we work harder at being “good”, He will somehow love and bless us more.  But is that truly satisfying or impressive to God?

Our feeble attempts to try to be holy, do good things, and live a “right” life in our own strength are actually achieving the opposite in God’s eyes. It is saying the Gospel isn’t enough – His grace isn’t enough. This is what Paul was encountering when he wrote to the Galatians. He saw how quickly they were deserting the true Gospel they had received from him earlier. He saw that they were listening to false teachers who were convincing them that through works of the law they could somehow satisfy God.  But those works of the law were not pleasing to God, just like our striving to be the perfect woman/wife/mother/employee/child of God aren’t either. We realize as we work hard to fill in this chasm between us and God that no matter how hard we try it doesn’t seem to work, things don’t seem to get better. All we’re left with are feelings of defeat, failure, and depression. The lies that God could never love us and we could never be enough begin to dominate our thought life which in turn begins to affect our actions. The cycle is brutal, ugly, and hopeless. And is exactly where Satan wants us to be. It says in John 8:44, Satan is the father of lies – he will take things that seem good and manipulate them. He will do anything to try and damage our relationship with God and keep us from knowing the truth. So what is the truth? And how do we stop this painful cycle?      

Dead to Sin

The first thing we need to understand is what we died to.

What does it mean when it says “I have been crucified with Christ (Gal 2:20a)”? When we identify with Christ after becoming believers, we are identifying that what He accomplished on the cross is true in our lives too. So what did Christ die for on the cross?

 The main thing we think of when we think of Christ dying on the cross is that he died for our Sin.

We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.  For one who has died has been set free from sin. Romans 6:6-7

As a result of Christ’s sacrifice, we have been set free from sin. We are free from the bondage of this sin condition that has ruled our lives up until we enter into our relationship with God through Christ. This is the sin that entered into mankind in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve partaking of the forbidden fruit. It lied to us, programmed our minds to operate in a way that satisfied our own flesh and desires. Even to these earthly, temporary pleasures we have died. 

And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:24

John Gregory Mantle wrote, “There is a great difference between realizing, ‘On that Cross He was crucified for me,’ and ‘On that Cross I am crucified with Him.’ The one aspect brings us deliverance from sin’s condemnation, the other from sin’s power.”

We are now then crucified or dead to sin’s power.

Dying to Good Works

But I think there’s a little more to it than that. We didn’t just die to our sin condition, we also died to the Law, which in our case would look more like Good Works.

Growing up, I was a middle child to an older sister and younger brother. I fell victim to the Middle Child Syndrome from an early age. I often felt overshadowed and forgotten. I would try to gain attention from my parents by always doing things right and earn their favor. But I never felt like it was enough – if I did get their attention it was just for a moment before my sister or brother did something again to put the attention back on them. As I grew up and started reflecting though, I realized that I had missed it the whole time. My parents had a deep respect and trust for me. They appreciated how I could take care of myself since their attention was often pulled elsewhere. They loved me for me just being me, I didn’t have to try so hard.

I think we do this often as believers. We think that we are saved by grace through faith, but then somehow are required to work for our sanctification or approval of God. That by following the rules laid out and being a good moral person then we somehow can make God notice us, love us, and maybe even give us what we want. But that’s not how it works. He’s always there, respecting us, trusting us, and loving us exactly as we are because of Christ’s sacrifice. Nothing we can do will add or take away from that love. He loves us because He loves us because He loves us – no other reason than that.

yet we know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because by works of the law no one will be justified. Galatians 2:16

Who We Are Now

Once we begin to understand what we’ve been crucified to, next we can start to understand who we are now.

It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. Galatians 2:20b

What does this mean that Christ now lives in us?

We recognize that we identify with Christ and his crucifixion so we must now identify with him in His life. So we now get to share in the life of Christ.

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Colossians 3:1-4

He is now our life and we are with him in glory.

Our old flesh and sin condition have died, and we now have Christ in us so we must be new creations.

We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. Romans 6:4

In Christ, we now have newness of life. We are identified as God’s chosen children.

My husband and I joke that our sons have no hope of being normal. We’re so goofy and quirky, it has to rub off on them. Plus, they were born Byrds. Our genetics are passed down to them. They inherited many of our traits that we’ll see emerge as they develop and grow. They can alter their behavior to try to be more normal than us, but they can never change their DNA.

Receiving Our Inheritance

When we become new Creations in Christ, we are reborn spiritually. We are born into God’s family as his daughter – an heir to His Kingdom. And because Christ is in us, we now start having the attributes of Him showing in our lives.

 And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise. I mean that the heir, as long as he is a child, is no different from a slave, though he is the owner of everything, but he is under guardians and managers until the date set by his father.  In the same way we also, when we were children, were enslaved to the elementary principles of the world.  But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law,  to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.  And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. Galatians 3:29-4:7

Heir is defined here as a sharer by lot or inheriter; by implication, a possessor. We now inherit all of God’s Kingdom, no longer bound by slavery to the world. Knowing you are now dead to sin and not required to do good works to earn God’s favor and that you now have Christ living inside of you, sharing His life and all of God’s Kingdom with you, how could your life not reflect this?

Living by Faith

Lastly, we need to understand how our life reflects this.

The life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20c

We all live by faith every day. When you get in your car, you have faith it will start and will work properly as you drive to the store. Or when you go eat at a restaurant, you have faith you won’t end up with food poisoning. But what are we putting our faith in during our day to day activities? That’s what makes the difference. We must choose who are we living this life for, and that He is worth putting our faith in.

For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died;  and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15

Living by faith in the Son of God is not only believing God is who He says He is. But also, believing I am who God says I am. Neil Anderson in his book Victory over the Darkness says, “Faith in God fails only when people have a faulty understanding of Him.” The only way we can know God is by spending time with Him. Knowing Him is a direct result of abiding in Him through His Word, spending time with Him in prayer and reflection, and taking steps of faith when He leads. This kind of abiding and faith is only accomplished through the Holy Spirit.

The Power Source – The Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit is the key here. It is only out of the Holy Spirit’s leading, strength, and faith that we are able to do anything worthy of God. The Holy Spirit is how Christ lives in us and is always available. When we stop striving out of our own strength and flesh and start resting and abiding in the Holy Spirit, God is glorified and we find true peace and satisfaction. He doesn’t want us to live life alone. He has given us His Spirit to live inside of us. How would that change your viewpoint on every day? If you were always consciously aware of God living inside of you.

You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you. Romans 8:9-11

And when we are aware and make every effort to seek Him in every decision, it takes the pressure off of us. It is no longer about our performance, it’s all about God’s glory.

When my husband and I were preparing to begin our journey towards missions, we encountered trials. My husband got very sick and had to quit his job. I found out I was pregnant unexpectedly. I felt like we should just give up on missions and just try to make it day to day. But my husband had great faith he would be healed and we would get to still go serve the Lord. So he prayed, and we prayed. I struggled to believe it would ever get any better as things seemed to get worse and worse. But Kevin never stopped believing. He had to hold onto the hope of Christ that lived in him. Eventually, Kevin started slowly getting better. And better and better. And then it was time for the baby to be born. So we prepared to go to our training school with a new baby and the chance that Kevin could get sick like that all over again. I had many doubts, but I borrowed some of Kevin’s faith. We got the house ready to sell, and within a day we had a full asking price offer. We got the car ready to sell and within two days of listing it, it was sold. Many other things fell perfectly into place during that time too. I know it was a way God was confirming in both Kevin and I’s hearts that this was the right path. If it wasn’t for Kevin’s faith and hope in the Lord, relying on the Holy Spirit and trusting in God’s promises though, we wouldn’t have gone. I was inspired by him during that time, and I praise God every day for bringing us out of that pit and bringing us into a place of service to Him. Having faith in God isn’t always easy. Most of the time it’s not. But with the Holy Spirit’s help and the decision to trust, it is always fruitful.

Finding Hope in Who We Are

Through understanding what we’ve died to, who we are now, and how our life reflects this new creation, we can break the cycle of pain, disappointment, and exhaustion. We can have hope again. The striving can cease. The grace of God can prevail. We can finally rest in the confidence of being a chosen daughter of God purely for His joy and pleasure and not because of anything we did or could do. But I don’t think this change of living a freed life will happen instantly. The worries and fears of this world will still try to choke us and burden us again under this yoke of slavery. Satan will continue to throw his fiery darts so we forget the goodness of God and give into our fleshly responses and desires. But as we discover more about who God is and who He says we are now, the easier it becomes to live out of faith that it is actually true. The more we rest in and rely on the Holy Spirit, the more our actions become less about us proving ourselves and more about us desiring to glorify God above all else.

When I was growing up I had a dog named PB that thought she was a cat. You see, my uncle’s mom had picked her up off the side of the road where she had been abandoned when she was only a few days old. She took her home and began to care for her. But the only other pets she had inside the house were a lot of cats. So PB grew up learning how to be a cat. She would give herself baths by licking her paws then her ears. She would try to purr. She would sit aloof and not play or do any normal dog like things. When my uncle’s mom died, we took PB in. We didn’t have any cats or other dogs, just her. But we treated her like a dog, even though she acted like a cat. We encouraged her to play, gave her dog treats, and taught her to walk on a leash. Eventually over time, all the cat like tendencies in her were gone and she was just a regular dog that loved to play, dig, and bark.

As we abide in the Holy Spirit and allow Him to speak who we truly are over us, we will begin to believe it. When we begin to believe it, our minds will begin to change. Then our actions will follow. No longer will we feel compelled to be the perfect mom/wife/sister/Christian. But we will be content in our identities as daughters of Christ and will joyfully serve Him. So I urge you mommas, take time to know and trust Him. It is only there your satisfaction lies.

In this post, I talk about some of the resources that have helped my husband and I find our true identities in Christ. And here you can grab your free identity in Christ list printable.

What lies have you been believing about who you are?

The post Living A New Identity: Discover your Identity in Christ first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. Who was this frustrated, depressed, sleep-deprived monster? Who couldn’t hold it together for even an hour most days. Who yearned for sleep and separation from her children who she really did love. I didn’t like this version of myself. I needed help, but I was afraid of the shame and guilt that came with it. Thank God for blessing me with a loving, patient, and determined husband who pushed until I gave in.

Unfortunately, in both the Christian and mom circles, seeking help is shown as a sign of weakness and failure. I should be a better Christian and mother. I should be able to hold it together and live a peaceful and perfect existence with perfect and peaceful kids.

This is NOT reality! But too many moms and Christians believe the lies that this should be our reality. Then we fall deeper into the darkness of the tunnel and get completely lost with no signs of light anymore. This is a dark and scary place to be.

Finding Healing

I’ve dealt with some depression my whole life, but postpartum depression hit me hard after the birth of my second son. He had colic so sleep was hard to come by. I had a toddler that didn’t understand why suddenly he wasn’t get all of the attention. My husband was working at a difficult job that was giving him anxiety and other health issues. I was trying to take care of everyone plus work part time from home. PLUS the fun hormone roller coaster my body was on.

After a lot of prayers and prompting from my husband and mom, I went to see the doctor. It’s so sad to me how much shame I felt for even making the appointment. I hate Satan for making getting help with mental health still appear to be a sign of weakness or shame. If I had a physical issue after giving birth, no one would question it if I went to the doctor for help.

The doctor was so gracious and kind. He did not for a minute make me feel less than for needing help. He talked about how common it is for women and applauded me for getting help. Praise God for his kind and gentle heart!

I started antidepressants and once I got my dosage right, the light started to peak through the darkness and the fog began to clear. Slowly over a few weeks, I started to feel human again. I didn’t dread waking up every morning. I got to enjoy baby snuggles and toddler giggles. I was able to pray and hear the Lord’s voice again. It gave me back my life.

I started to finally feel like I wanted to do stuff again. Mainly stuff to take care of myself so I could properly take care of my family. I started exercising, eating better, and going out in public. I wanted to see friends and family again.

God, our Healer

God is amazing. He is all powerful. He is sovereign. And He is so so so good. He is our healer. I 100% believe He still miraculously heals people every day, from spiritual, emotional, and physical illness. I also believe He can use the resources He has given to us through doctors and medicine to heal us.

I can spend time beating myself up that I didn’t have enough faith or pray the right way for God to supernaturally heal me. Or I can choose to accept the healing He gave me through medicine and praise Him! I choose the latter because He didn’t create us for our short time on earth to beat ourselves up or constantly live in self defeat. He created us for abundant, full life through His Spirit where He shares every spiritual blessing with us even now on earth (Ephesians 1:3-8). He created us to have an intimate relationship with Him where we get to know and grow deeply in love with Him (1 John 4:16-17). And because of medicine for the first time in years, I feel like I can finally start hearing Him clearly, receive His grace and blessings, and be a part of serving His Kingdom again.

He didn’t stop loving me for seeking help. In fact He blessed it with providing me healing (Psalm 30:2). He is a loving Father, and He loves to give His children good gifts (Matthew 7:9-11; 1 John 3:1). So I receive His love and freedom He’s given me. And I encourage you to do the same.

Everyone’s journey to healing – whether physically, spiritually, or emotionally – will look different. Every person is unique created by a creative God, and He has a unique way of relating and bringing healing to all of us. Don’t ever let Satan make you feel shame or guilt for seeking help. You are loved and worthy of healing and freedom.

The post How I found myself again – My Postpartum Journey first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

It was dinner time on a Thursday evening. My husband was sick in bed with a migraine. I had to wake up my youngest from his nap because his schedule was all messed up from a doctor’s appointment that morning, and he was not happy about it. And my oldest was yelling “Mom!” every two seconds. The latest was because he had gotten juice from his grape on his hand. Really?! Juice from a grape is just THAT serious?!

I know you feel me. We’ve all had those days/nights (wait – all the days and nights!) where you’re just not enough. Everyone needs something from you, and you just can’t take hearing that “Mom!” one.more.time.

Unconditional Love

My husband is so gracious and patient. He never loses his temper with the kids, and I’ve barely ever seen him lose his temper with anyone. I am not like him. I tend to get easily frustrated and lose my temper and speak before I’ve even had time to think about what I’m saying. Being a mom has revealed too much of my ugly sinful flesh.

But guess what? God still loves me. My husband still loves me. My children still love me. Even though I feel undeserving. Even though I know I’ll lose my temper again. Even on the hardest, darkest, most frustrating days I am loved.

There are a lot of ways to know God’s love for me is unconditional and full of grace, but one of the most treasured to me during this season is the forgiving, gracious love of my husband and children. I hate to see myself so distracted and easily frustrated, but my family has so much grace. So much I don’t deserve.

Breathe and Pray

Instead of living in a constant place of self defeat, I take a minute, breathe, and pray. Sometimes I go into a separate room and close the door and cry or scream or just breathe. Then when I’ve gathered my composer, I go apologize. First to God, then to my family members. In that moment when I see the love in my family’s eyes, I receive the precious grace and love of the Lord. He’s in all the moments, but I truly soak Him in in these sweet ones.

I’m not perfect. My kids aren’t perfect. My husband isn’t perfect. But our love covers these sins and helps us see the best in each other. That kind of love can only be from the Lord. And only reflects a portion of the unconditional gracious love the Lord has for us.

Satan wants us to live in a place of self defeat. But we can’t let him have that victory in our lives! Yes, we screw up. Yes, it’s hard most of the time. But we have unconditional, never-ending Grace that is waiting for us. We just have to stop, breathe, and receive.

The post If I hear that word one more time… first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.

While some families are lucky enough to have kids sleep through the night at ages as young as 6 weeks, we have not been so lucky. My oldest started sleeping better after the 4 month sleep regression, but even now at almost 3 still takes hours to fall asleep at night and occasionally still wakes up. My youngest is nearly two and has only slept through the night maybe 6 times?! I had high hopes and expectations he would be a great sleeper. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

To say I’m tired would be an understatement. Your body does adjust have years of not getting good sleep to still function (somewhat) with sleep deprivation. But it’s not the same as getting good, quality sleep even just a few times a week.

I feel like night is when spiritual attacks are most often to happen in our house. There is something about the darkness that can evoke fear and vulnerability.

But we don’t have to fear the night. God promises to take care of us at all times especially the night.

He commands his angels to guard us in ALL of our ways. (Psalm 91:11)

He allows us to lie down and sleep in peace. (Psalm 4:8)

He provides rest for the weary. (Matthew 11:28-30)

He gives us everything we need (including sleep!) (Philippians 4:19)

He created our bodies to use sleep as a time to recharge and heal, and desires for us to have this time. (Proverbs 3:24, Psalm 116:7, Psalm 91:1-2, Psalm 3:5)

Even though I don’t get to sleep through the night most nights, God has begun blessing the sleep I do get. Giving me what I need to make it through the days. But what He does that’s the most loving is gives me what I need in His Spirit to live everyday, whether I’m well rested or not.

Sometimes I wonder if He placed me in this season of sleep deprivation as a loving way to remind me to rely on Him for everything every day. I can’t do anything significant without Him, but when I feel physically good and able I tend to leave Him behind and do things of my own strength. He’s using this exhausting season of motherhood to bring me back to full reliance on Him.

Whether you’re sleeping great or not, I pray you are finding your worth and ability to mother out of His identity and power He’s placed inside of you and from nothing else. He never wastes a thing, so take heart momma! He sees the bags under your eyes and midnight feedings. He’s using these moments to refine and shape us into His likeness even more. So let’s praise Him through it and find the joy in it all!

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I didn’t think my self esteem could get any lower. Then I became a mom.

All of the sudden, I felt like everything I was doing was wrong – potentially screwing up the little human God had entrusted to me. Lies of the past that I thought I had overcome through the truths of God’s Word were re-emerging with a vengeance in addition to all the new ways I felt I was failing as a mom. Patterns of comparing myself to others leading to self-loathing began dominating my thought life. I couldn’t be a good mom, wife, sister, daughter, or woman believing these lies. I couldn’t keep living like this.

Thankfully, through the Lord’s grace and patience, He slowly used people, Scripture, and the love of my family to bring the truth back to light. That’s the thing about God, He never gives up on us. He always knows what we need and will give it to us even if we’re not looking for it. He is the BEST Father giving the best gifts to His children. In His infinite grace and mercy, He reminded me that my life isn’t about me at all. It’s about Him – His glory, His purposes, His Kingdom advancement.

He made each of us exactly as we were supposed to be. And yes, in our fleshly, worldly state, we are weak and incompetent and “failures”. Because we are nothing and can do nothing significant without Him. But WITH Him, IN Him, THROUGH Him, we can accomplish anything He’s asking us to do. We are complete, whole, forgiven, free, and perfect.

I don’t need to worry about being enough for my husband, kids, family, or friends as long as I’m living humbly submitted to the Holy Spirit and walking in obedience with Him. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to make that choice to walk in humble obedience every minute of every day or that I don’t still battle the lies and worries that come with being a mother. But it does provide freedom when I choose to receive it. I have the choice in every moment to receive the identity I have in Christ and die to my flesh and be the mother and wife God created me to be. I can actually rejoice in my weaknesses and failures because that shows God’s power, grace, and abilities even more. And if I’m truly living the life He’s called me to, that’s exactly what I should be doing. So let’s REJOICE mommas!! In this beautiful, messy, grace-filled life God has ordained before us.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

The post The Perfectly Imperfect Mom first appeared on This Momma Needs Grace.